don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

We often associate happiness with long anticipated breaks in routine, such as vacations, accomplishments, awards and the like. However, everyday life contains untapped sources of little pleasures, joys and delights. The key is to look around for opportunities to discover a little of the bright side of things.

Consider the modest but real pleasures available from simple things like reading, exercising, attending to nature, granting the cosmos a moment's attention, a dance step or two and so on, even that old standby when bored or vexed—a good and wholesome fantasy. (Not that the other kind don't have their place.) All these and countless other special moments invented on the spot can bring a little happiness, of a sort—for a few moments. These are worthwhile, especially when experienced often enough.

So, shift your focus from eternal and epic times of anticipated bliss to momentary discoveries of things here and now pleasant and amusing. Vacations, accomplishments and recognitions are nice, no doubt, but they don't visit often enough. To insure a fully nourished sense of happiness, rely primarily on a multitude of self-generated pleasantries. That is the surest way to get your RDAs or recommended daily allowances of this crucial REAL wellness nutrient. 

Something as simple as the conclusion of a disagreeable encounter can serve nicely. All dental appointments end, as do other such encounters—that alone is a rich source for calling a time out for happiness. I had some flesh removed the other day by a skilled dermatologist, followed by the artful stitching of my fresh wounds. When the ordeal was over and I had departed the clinic, I thought that deserved a pause, a conscious experience of gratitude that the encounter was done. This definitely provided a heartfelt burst of genuine happiness. As many a philosopher from Aristotle to Yalom (I can't think of a philosopher with a last names beginning with Z at the moment) have noted, the cessation of pain or other expected dire event that does NOT happen can be a cause for short-duration happiness. This includes the hurricane that WAS headed your way but petered out, the pink slip anticipated that never arrived and so on.

I believe ordinariness can yield fields of pleasures even as we strive for the heights of infrequent watersheds we expect will bring happiness (e.g., visits to attractive venues, rewards for epic accomplishments and the like). Furthermore, it is much easier to mine positive feelings from simple, predictable activities than the momentous, long sought goals that often disappoint when achieved. No wonder happiness experts suggest immersing ourselves in everyday life and modest reflections. As an exercise along this track, next time you visit a gallery, devote more than the museum average of ten seconds to selective paintings. Sit on the bench, relax and study the details. Reflect on facial expressions, shadows, lighting—and be sure to read about the work in the brochures and wall mountings provided.

To summarize my idea so far, pauses that scan for little pleasures provide more happiness in the aggregate, day in and day out, than most featured events (e.g., a party, a movie, a date and so on). So, seize many more if not every moment.

Martin Seligman and other experts in the relatively new branch of social science known as "Positive Psychology" hold that "it is possible to be happier—to feel more satisfied, to be more engaged with life, to find more meaning, have higher hopes and probably even laugh and smile more, regardless of one's circumstances." The field of "bright side" psychology promotes positive emotions, strengths-based character and healthy institutions. Consensus is strong on the idea that we can create personal resilience and sustain healthy moods to far greater degrees than most of us realize. However, it does take a bit of practice, awareness and commitment to do so.

Happiness is built upon foundations composed of such qualities as optimism, gratitude, mindfulness, hope and meaning and purpose. For starters! Happiness is also linked with forgiveness, close relationships, love and well-being. Irving Yalom adds (in his master work "Existential Psychotherapy") that happiness ensues more reliably from doing good for others.

So, do as I do or at least plan to consider doing, as the years pass and I grow ever more interested in happiness and consequently less in such things as being hailed The Omnipotent Grand Poobah of the Universe: become less self-indulgent and a little kinder, more often than not. 

Be well. Always look on the bright side of life.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of emotional intelligence. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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