don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Why? For being sanctimonious and overreacting to a mere peccadillo by its poster boy Michael Phelps. Fans of the Olympic swimming great, opponents of marijuana laws and everyone else still miffed at Harvey Kellogg for his silly anti-sex, anti-masturbation, pro-celibacy campaigns of the mid 1850's might want to take this occasion to shun Kellogg's Corn Flakes for the rest of 2009. I think doing so would be a suitable protest for all the above-noted offenses. If sales of Kellogg Corn Flakes tanked, self-righteous types everywhere might be a little more careful next time not to overreact to a slight misdeed, particularly by one of our heroes. After all, our heroes are no more perfect in every way than the rest of us.

One person who feels as I do about Kellogg's action organized a campaign on Facebook entitled "I bet I can find a million people who don't care that Michael Phelps smoked weed." In the first week, he had over half a million "don't care friends" or members of that special pro-Michael Phelps group.

My proposed boycott might accomplish several purposes. No, it won't halt the decline in the stock market or in the nationwide loss of jobs or open up credit markets or jumpstart the housing industry. However, it could make a big impression on Kellogg executives.

Of course, not everyone who feels as I do that Kellogg's overreacted and is being far too punitive toward Phelps buys Corn Flakes. How can these people join in the boycott? Might this inconvenient truth mitigate the impact of my proposed boycott idea?

No, not at all. This should not be a problem. As a child indoctrinated in Catholic Church dogma and rituals, I did not smoke cigars or have an intimate personal relationship with Marilyn Monroe, but I gave both up for Lent, year after year, during my teen years. It's the principle that matters.

If people say they are giving up Kellogg's Corn Flakes, that should be sufficient. As far as I know, there is no widely acceptable detection method to detect if someone is using Corn Flakes. If you say you are giving up the product, that's enough. Nobody will ever know you were not a user in the first place.

I'm a positive kind of guy, a promoter of a lifestyle that boosts quality of life, a mindset or philosophy that is worth pursuing for its own sake. I like to emphasize the bright side, as opposed to trying to scare people about medical risks and diseases associated with NOT doing the right things. It's good to avoid illness, of course, but choosing healthy habit patterns is best done because these choices enable a richer way of being alive. Even if wellness lifestyles did not lead to longer life or less illness, they would be worth pursuing.

Therefore, I want to add a positive, attractive incentive for Kellogg's in my boycott idea. If Kellogg's Corn Flake executives take Michael back, all of us Corn Flake buyers will pledge to increase our consumption of the cereal in 2009. What's more, those who have joined the boycott even though they don't buy or eat Corn Flakes will pledge to buy at least one box before the year is out. Kellogg's—you stand to make big bucks if you renounce your churlish ways and take back our hero as your poster boy for Kellogg's Corn Flakes.

A few words about the case for supporting Michael might be in order. First off, what Michael did in winning eight gold medals in the Beijing Olympics in the summer of 2009 (and eight other Olympic medals four years before that) was nearly miraculous, even to those of us who don't believe in miracles (when defined as amazing events influenced by supernatural forces, most often a non-existent character called "God").

Here are a few additional reasons for concluding that Kellogg's Corn Flake executives overreacted by dropping Michael Phelps:

• Marijuana is not as harmful as alcohol, tobacco or most of the prescription drugs Americans use to excess. How come we don't get all bent out of shape about people using these products? Let's be a little more consistent. Let's leave people alone to make adult choices if such choices do not adversely affect others in direct ways. Let's err on the side of maximum freedom.
  
  
• There is way too much moral righteousness in punishing Michael Phelps for being photographed sucking on a bong pipe. So what? Big deal. Who got hurt? Nobody. Leave the guy alone, for Pete's sake, whoever he (Pete) is. (We all need to do more for the sake of Pete. I don't know why. I just think we do.)
  
  
• Radley Balko ("What Michael Phelps Should Have Said," ReasonOnline, February 2, 2009), pointed out that "Nobel Prize winners, Pulitzer Prize winners, the last three U.S. presidents, several Supreme Court justices and luminaries and success stories from all sectors of business and the arts, sciences, and humanities have all been pot smokers." So, how bad can it be?

When I told my friends about this boycott idea, most said, "Great—I'll join. Where do I sign up?" This was the typical reaction even though many if not all of these people, like myself, have no use for marijuana (or anything like it that gives a chemical high, other than exercise, humor, politics, sex or anything else that fosters natural DBRU equivalents). However one dear friend raised a few sensible concerns, as follows, which I will include in the interests of full disclosure:

• I don't care what he does to relax in the privacy of his home but if I were paying him to endorse my kids-oriented product (like Kellogg's Corn Flakes cereal), I too would cancel his contract. He allowed himself to be photographed in public doing something we don't want kids doing.
  
  
• I'm sure most companies would not hire Ted Haggard, Jim Baker, Jimmy Swaggart or other 'Preachers Gone Bad' for reasons similar to those noted, above.
  
  
• This is not about smoking dope or whether it should be legal or not, or whether marijuana is a performance-enhancing drug. This is simply about Kellogg's hiring a spokesperson to represent their product but still having the right to cancel the contract if he did anything in public that created a negative public impression. He did and they exercised their right to end the relationship.
  
  
• Phelps was on track to earn $100 million in endorsements because of his amazing athletic skill. His job was to live an exemplary public life. He jeopardized this opportunity by smoking pot.

Well, I suppose not everyone will be joining my campaign. Perhaps you will, perhaps not. It depends, I suppose, on whether you believe, as my friend does, that Mr. Phelps erred significantly and thus Kellogg is not sanctimonious or overreacting in cutting the ties to the great Olympian. If you DO want to join my campaign, no need to sign up, participate in a candlelight procession, send money, call your Congressperson or take a stand in favor of legalizing marijuana. Just tell your friends and especially your grocer that you are not buying Kellogg's Corn Flakes in 2009—unless the company rehires Michael Phelps as its Corn Flakes poster boy.

In supporting my campaign, you will be striking a blow for personal freedoms and giving a boost to a great athlete. You will also be expressing your displeasure with sanctimonious executives at Kellogg who overreacted to a simple human frailty that should have been overlooked.

Be well and always look on the bright side of life. 

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the PHYSICAL DOMAIN under the skill area of lifestyle habits. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

 Send e-mail to Don Ardell