don's report archive

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Consider Forming A DBRU Equivalent Coffee Club
Sunday February 22, 2009

Chaplain: Let us praise God. Oh Lord...
Congregation: Oh Lord...
Chaplain: Oooh you are so big...
Congregation: Oooh you are so big...
Chaplain: So absolutely huge.
Congregation: So absolutely huge.
Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here I can tell you.
Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here I can tell you.
Chaplain: Forgive Us, O Lord, for this dreadful toadying.
Congregation: And barefaced flattery.
Chaplain: But you are so strong and, well, just so super.
Congregation: Fan - tastic.
All: Amen.

Source: "The Meaning Of Life." (Monty Python Pictures) Part II
"Growth and Learning," Courtesy alt.fan.monty-python.

For many years, e-mail messages have gone back and forth with two or three of my good friends about what we consider the jejune nature of religion—varied rituals, beliefs and news stories about religious characters—particularly the televangelists. Of course, our e-mails also cover politics, sex and less important topics, but religion is a favorite. Why? In part because religion lends itself to the kind of satire served up by astute observers like the late George Carlin (remember his rift on "The Ten Commandments?"), Bill Maher ("Religulous") and Monty Python (as in the above "prayer" scene from the movie, "The Meaning of Life").

In any event, we have had fun sharing ideas by e-mail. The other day, however, something happened that brought about a change in our ways. Someone suggested "we should chat about these things over coffee," or something like that. Before long, we were no longer content with e-mailing but were instead planning a gathering, and talking about who else to bring along, what topics to cover, how to facilitate the discussion, what to expect, even what to call the meeting or the group. A few days of excited planning passed and, while we have not assembled as yet, plans are underway. What's more, the discussions gave me a related idea: Why not promote wellness coffee clubs for encouraging healthy lifestyles and REAL wellness? Such coffee klatches (or teas with crumpets or maybe carrot juice with raw seaweed—whatever invitees choose to order or bring along) might be a way to create a bit of interest in quality of life issues leading to supportive communities of otherwise unrelated people. Why not, indeed?

Before explaining my idea for a REAL wellness gathering or "DBRU Equivalent Coffee Clubs," I'll mention a few guidelines we tossed about for our own gathering here in St. Petersburg. Some of this brainstorming might help you to think about a DBRU group where you live.

We readily agreed that the primary purpose of meeting over coffee some morning with friends would be to have a few "best of time" feelings, just like the buzzards in the immortal Gary Larson cartoon that sparked my idea of DBRU equivalents some years ago. (If unfamiliar with DBRUs, read this essay on http://www.seekwellness.com/wellness/articles/DRBUs.htm
The Nature of DBRU Equivalents.

Also, one founder offered the following purpose statement, which I quote word for word, without punctuation provided or omitted: "The group will be just folks ruminating on the nature of the cosmos, the encroachment of religious fanaticism, the erosion of constitutionally guaranteed rights, the dumbing down of society in general, the idiocy in both parties in Congress, the secret truths as to what drives Americans to eat more, exercise less and chase the brass ring just because Madison Avenue tells them to or whatever particular thing comes to mind that needs some deep thinkers to think deeply about."

Beyond that, we brainstormed unrelated notions. Here is a sampling of what we projected might be the actual goals of our little group, things we might seek to accomplish in our DBRU equivalent-seeking morning coffee gatherings. The mission statement might be phrased to suggest that, as a consequence of our deliberations, the following might come to pass:

Peace in the Middle East. Our solution can then be applied to ending all war and the unpleasant human tendency of people to go about killing each other for bad reasons.
The eradication of obesity and its related maladies.
An end to terrorism.
Such a buzz about our sessions that presidents, heads of state and even dictators will clamor for our advice on a range of issues, from global warming to how to make really fluffy omelets.
A blockbuster movie will follow a best-seller book based upon secret notes taken at the sessions, resulting in considerable riches for all founding members of the DBRU coffee club.
The discovery of ways to make renewable fuel from BS.
Solve the problem of overpopulation.
Eliminate pollution and habitat destruction.
Reverse global warming (attending to the troubles associated with chlorofluorocarbons and the like, while at it).
Halt stupidity—find ways to get the general population more concerned with education, critical thinking, doubt, skepticism and a regard for and love of reason.
Protect the diversity of life forms, safeguard species from extinction and create better conditions and rights for animals.
Retire America's responsibility for acting as a global sheriff.
An end to corporate and Wall Street greed.
Close the growing economic gap between the (oftentimes) prosperous elderly and struggling young families.
Find a way for members of the small, very elite but kindly and good St. Petersburg DBRU coffee club to travel back in time about six months with our current knowledge regarding Wall Street so we might once again be part of the prosperous elderly.
Convince the American people to require all presidential candidates to undergo mandatory IQ tests. Two can be given, with the higher of the two as the test scores recorded. The qualifying score will be determined by the coffee group. Had this requirement been in place eight-plus years ago, the world would be a significantly different place now.
Tens of millions of Americans will choose REAL wellness and the medical system will shrink to 1940 levels.
Last but not least, Sarah Palin will fade from the national scene and never again be considered for public office, not even in Wasilla. Alaska.

Next, we talked about guidelines, sort of what to promote in terms of behavioral decorum. Suggestions that arose included:

That expectations be modest and impulses toward grandiose accomplishments be held in check.
That we devote ourselves to giving no indication at any time that we care in the slightest if anyone else wants to be sensible enough to agree with and/or act upon our opinions.
That it not become a men's group.
No drumming of any kind will ever be permitted.
Informality and anonymity will be protected.
No T-shirts, no slogans, no dues or fines for non-attendance.
No secret handshakes.

Well, this was all in good fun, though we do plan to meet soon to enjoy the company and idea exchange that ought to occur if our friends are nearly as non-dull as we like to think they are. We shall see. Even if we do not come up with concepts, theories, plans or proposals that lead to peace in the Middle East or the other listed goals, I think we'll enjoy the process and each other.

I am quite serious in urging you to consider forming a DBRU coffee club, the better to help each other find new paths to as many "best of time" experiences possible throughout each day.

Be well. Look on the bright side of life.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of relationships. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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