don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Most people want to make healthy changes. They want to look and feel good, avoid weight gain, eliminate habits they know are harmful and in countless ways live better lives than they have going at present. They try to do so but they keep failing, time and time again. Why is that?

Judd Allen explains why in Not Alone. Unlike Dr. Grant Donovan and yours truly, Judd does not believe the sad bottom line for most is, "icantdoit." Chances are, he would not agree with Oscar Wilde's observation that "true friends stab you in the front." But, I'm sure he would go along with Epicurus who, quite a while back (3rd century BCE) observed: "It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us."

Everyone has stories about efforts to change. Judd has a seemingly endless supply of such tales. One special feature of the book is the real life cases of varied win-win resolutions employees and others found for resolving conflicts and overcoming obstacles using “Not Alone” principles. 

Do you think it is better to try to change and fail than never to try at all and just go through life behaving badly, becoming ill unnecessarily and staying that way a long time and then dying prematurely? This is a false dichotomy -- there are better options. Judd shows you one patterned on a lifetime of his work at devising, implementing and fine-tuning supportive environments with proven systems of coaching and mentoring.

Could there be a downside to such All-American virtues as personal drive, self-motivation, willpower, a positive attitude and the like? Judd thinks so, if these and other valued qualities are overemphasized, and he believes they often are, relative to physical, emotional and social supports. Fortunately, it is not an either/or situation, as Judd demonstrates with lessons in how cultures function and impact us all.

Could there be any connections whatsoever between something as contemporary as a mentoring process and lessons gleaned from Homer's epic poem, The Odyssey? Read Not Alone and you will develop a new appreciation for Odysseus, the King of Ithaca.

Who can qualify as a wellness mentor and what does it require? How does a person find a mentor, and what does the process involve? In Not Alone, Judd describes in great detail, using actual stories, how to manage all the key pieces in a seven-week program. Judd's foundation for wellness includes not just the usual steps reinterpreted for mentoring (setting goals, identifying role models, eliminating barriers to change and the like) but all manner of tests, indicators and worksheets, questions to consider, rating scales and inventories. There are also excellent book recommendations and references.

If after reading Not Alone and following Judd's systematic but easy to understand, enjoyable book you STILL, despite effective mentoring and peer support, fail to achieve and sustain your wellness goals, consider this point of view: "icantdoit."

Now you have motive to get started, not that you did not have plenty of that already. Do read and consider the program beautifully described in Not Alone. Read it closely, adapt and follow Judd's methods and suggestions and maybe you will finally discover how to live the kind of life you no doubt richly deserve. Nothing would make me happier.

Well, some things would make me happier, but your success would be an outcome I'd very much welcome. I wish you well. I know Judd does, also.

Order Not Alone by calling (800) 800-3193 or visit www.healthyculture.com or e-mail Judd at Info@healthyculture.com.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of relationships. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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