don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

If a wellness promoter ran for president, it seems to me that such a mindset would be one very good reason to support the candidate. Unless, of course, there were some other problems with the individual's candidacy, problems strong enough to overrule the natural bias wellness enthusiasts would otherwise have for the candidate. I thought about this the other day when famed humorist Andy Borowitz announced, in his Borowitz Report, that Mike Huckabee, the wellness promoter, had chosen Jesus Christ as his vice-presidential running mate -- in "a bold move to shore up his evangelical base." In the event you live in some god-forsaken distant place like Australia, be aware that Mike Huckabee is not just a wellness enthusiast (more specifically, he is a huge supporter of fitness and sound nutrition). Mr. Huckabee is also an ex-governor of Arkansas, a creationist (does not believe in evolution) and a Southern Baptist preacher who is very much anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage and anti-separation of church and state.

Borowitz noted, "Among Republican voters, Jesus Christ is even more popular than Ronald Reagan," and quoted someone who said, "If Huckabee is elected and then something happens to him while in office, we would be looking at our first Jewish president."

I thought the piece was pretty funny, and sent it along to a couple of Australian wellness experts, seeking outsider perspectives on what this might mean for the health promotion movement here and abroad.

I provided a bit of background on Huckabee, including a spate of recent articles about the man. I noted his impressive academic credentials (a B.A. from Ouachita Baptist University in 1975 and a master's degree from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in 1980). I also described his remarkably broad experience prior to becoming lieutenant governor of Arkansas (pastor of Baptist congregations in Pine Bluff and Texarkana and host of a religious television station.) I also pointed out that Huckabee is a champion of covenant marriage (in other words, you can't get out of it no matter what), home schooling, the flat tax and teaching creationism in public school science classes.

One oddity about the big fuss made over Huckabee's loss of 100 pounds due to a wellness regimen after a health scare (he authored a book about his transformation called, Quit Digging Your Grave With A Knife and Fork) is that nobody seems to question why he needed to lose 100 pounds in the first place. Why did he wait to start taking better care of himself as the blubber accumulated? Could Americans expect him to do something about other crises that were developing, should he be elected to the office he seeks? That would be pretty scary (think "Katrina" and the reflexes of The Incumbent).

Oh well, I don't want to sound picky. With this background forwarded, I awaited comments from my two Aussie wellness expert friends. 

One expert, a Brisbane-based government official named Rod Lees* who attended the 2007 National Wellness Conference (NWC), replied: "I listened to Huckabee at the NWC. He is as smooth as a rat with a gold tooth. If he were to become president, he might just do something about the obesity problem. Possibly threatening the population that they would all go to hell if they didn't lose weight. He could even get his running mate "Jesus" to say that the door into heaven will only fit in those people who are less than 160 lbs, or a certain BMI. Nobody would question this because it would be divinely determined as fair for all under every imaginable circumstance. This could catch on and your country could lead the world in fighting the obesity crisis."

Another expert, a Perth-based guru known far and wide to all wellness enthusiasts, Dr. Grant Donovan**, was even more enthusiastic about Huckabee's candidacy: "Don, I have not kept a close check on Huckabee but if his running mate is Jesus, then I'm voting for him (if they grant me the right to vote in the next US presidential elections, for some unknown reason). I would love to see Jesus take over from Cheney and bring some new wine and bread to the table. This duo would be a great new tourist attraction at the White House, with a long haired bearded guy, in long flowing robes, performing miracles on the back lawn - helping the blind to see and the obese to think small. In fact, I believe it would be un-American for anyone not to vote for this dream team. Okay, it might be a little bit of an odd couple but after Bush and Cheney, who will notice?"

If all this is not scary enough, my good friend and renowned political commentator, a non-Australian named Steven Jonas, MD, MPH who writes for the website called "The Political Junkies.net," offered this prediction at the conclusion of one of his most recent essays: "Look for a Giuliani-Huckabee ticket." 

Yike. Now THAT makes it REALLY hard to look on the bright side of life.  But, try it, anyway.

*  Rod Lees, a health management specialist, works in Queensland. A registered fitness instructor and personal trainer with a background in teaching and social work, he specializes in physical and mental health. He develops programs for overcoming anxiety and depression that promote mindfulness, resilience and optimism. 

**Grant Donovan is a corporate coach whose specialty is the formation of self-managed business units for high-level organizational performance. He co-authored "Live More Of Your Life The Wellness Way" with Don Ardell.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of humor. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

 Send e-mail to Don Ardell