don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

A reader of yesterday's essay ("Grandparents As Wellness Promoters") complained that the piece contained "nice ideas" but was "written for the most intellectual of readers" and added, "I bet 98% found this a difficult read. Maybe you could write another version on the same theme "dumbed down" for the masses. It's a valuable idea that shouldn't fly over the heads of grandparents." For good measure, she added, "You are such a smarty pants!"

I am nothing if not responsive to my loyal fan base. It's important to be loyal to your fan base, especially when it is as tiny as mine. For all I know, it consists of my own three grandchildren. Maybe their parents, too. So, here is the other version. Dumbed down, but not too much, I hope.

A proposed special role for Grandpa and Grandma. 
Are you a grandparent? Fun, ain't it? Hey, I got me a cool idea. Ever notice how them little rascals ask the most pitiful questions? How they don't know their backsides from the barn door? Well, I think you can help them get smarter and, more important, make better decisions as they grow up. Here's how.

Teaching an appreciation for science.
I'm not kidding. Hey, it's not like you have to be a rocket scientist or something. All this idea requires is that you seize upon the kids' natural interests and lead them toward more sensible, rational ways to think about one thing or another. For example, if they want to know how far is the sun, resist telling them! Instead of saying, "It's 93 million miles from here to there" just because you happen to know that, stoke those tiny embers of wonder. Resist the temptation to demonstrate how educated you are or worse, to make something up. NOT to show off takes discipline, sometimes. Heck, a number like 93 mil won't mean a lot to a ten-year old, anyway, unless put in perspective with other planets in our solar system. So, try answering a question with another question! Where is it written that only kids can ask grownups questions? Turn the tables on these little twerps, now and then. Asking a question can sometimes be better than giving an answer. Maybe a response like this would be in order to the "How far is the sun" query: "What an interesting question. How did you think of that? Wow. Any idea how we could find out?" After a little discussion, you might suggest, "Want to go to a library and look it up together? I hear they have all kinds of neat stuff over there."

Encouraging a sense of wonder.
Short-term answers are not as important as attitudes about learning. Look for varied ways to lead the grandkids toward little discoveries. Stimulate and help locate outlets for the natural curiosities of the little buggers.

A lasting impact.
The suggestion is to explore and adopt a special role, suited to your personality and access opportunities. Your goal is modest: Have a lifelong impact on the your grandchildren! Why settle for less?

Of course others around you will benefit if you are an agent for science and reason, but your prime target is the grandkids. After all, they're so much fun to be around. Make the most of the precious interactions -- do your part to guide their little minds in the best possible directions. Give them something they can use forever. Facts are nice, but understanding and practicing good decision pathways is really special.

Areas of focus for the science-loving grandparent.
The important parts of your special role include celebrating together the wonders of nature, the power of science (as opposed, for example, the irrational and dysfunctional rites of witchcraft or sorcery) and the search for fun discoveries. Focus on the rational process for deciding on one thing or another. You want the grandkids to be "curiouser and curiouser" about everything, and to grow more confident in their power to check things out.

Benefits. 
Hey, nobody wants his grandkids to "get took" by con artists, right? You want them to become good thinkers. Well, that's what this is about. Is there any danger they might otherwise grow up believing really weird things, beliefs that could hold them back in life? You bet.

Why grandkids need a wise grandparent or two to guide them along.
By stimulating an interest in science and an appreciation for nature and how things work, you can increase the chances the grandchildren will value education, avoid foolish people (and ideas) and will someday be better parents themselves. Evidence that your grandchildren would benefit from an influential, wise grandparent can be seen in a recent (February 18, 2007) AP news story. The article described a growing belief in this country in pseudoscience (for example, astrology and abductions by space aliens, lucky numbers and horoscopes) and an increase (among college students) in preference for creationism over evolution.

Getting started:
So, if this seems like a good idea, consider giving the grandkids a special legacy to go with your charming presence, inheritance and baby-sitting services. Give them the universe, a more rational mindset, joy in wonder, a love of science and an insatiable curiosity.

When they're older, you can get a little more esoteric. You can provide examples of popular fallacies and jejune thinking (and explain what "jejune means) by giving demonstrations. You can demonstrate how some people are fooled by deceptive advertising, multiple variables, fallacies of logic and rhetoric, ad hominem attacks and arguments from adverse consequences. You can talk about appeals to ignorance, special pleading, straw men, slippery slope tactics, begging the question and observational selection. Or not.

Summary:
It's up to you. Nobody knows better than you how you can be an awesome grandparent. Consider making reason and science part of your presence, and give something to a future generation that will last a lifetime, thereby making life better for the grandkids and those who come after them. What have you got to lose? The worst that could happen is someone might suggest you're such a smarty pants! How awful is that?

Be well. Look on the bright side of life.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of relationships. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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