don's report archive

Throw us a bone

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Celebrating 22 Years of WELLNESS REPORTS
Thursday October 5, 2006

Five years ago, specifically on August 31, 2001, I wrote an essay to mark the occasion of the 60th edition of the Ardell Wellness Report (AWR). A few days ago, the 73rd edition of the AWR was mailed to subscribers all over the world. It might be time to update the earlier ruminations.

Five years ago, I noted how in 1984 I wondered if I would have enough material for a second edition three months after the first. Decades have passed -- now I wonder if my patience will last three months before I send around another edition with new opinions on the state of the world. Here are highlights of the essay from five years ago, slightly updated.

Why a Wellness Report? Whatever motivated me to start this thing long ago in Mill Valley, CA? In Volume 1, January 1984, I explained, stating that I wanted:

To try another way to reach legions of "unnecessarily unwell" who unfortunately for them (and me) have not read my books, heard my speeches or viewed my website, read my notes in bottles cast into oceans or otherwise encountered yours truly or the wellness message. (I still have not reached these legions.)
To win friends and influence people by regularly telling a part of the world my opinions on a variety of wellness-related matters. (My inspiration came from Calvin of "Calvin and Hobbes" who had remarked, "I believe everyone is richly entitled to my opinions.")
To distribute bits of wellness gossip and advice, thereby becoming the "Dear Abby" of Wellness. You have wellness problems? Write to me! (Fortunately, not many have taken me up on this. I'm not sure I still want to be "Dear Abby" of Wellness or anything else.)
To invite feedback on a variety of issues in the wellness field. (This has proven to be a fine reward for the modest amount of work involved.)
To help members of the growing wellness network better track and connect with each other. The Report will tell of selected adventures (and misadventures) of my colleagues, as well as those of yours truly. (Mission accomplished but I'll stay the course, not cut and run.)
To continue to have fun in making a career out of the promotion of wellness. (So far, so good.)
To get the most out of my new toy: a KayPro personal computer. No, this is not a paid commercial endorsement. But I'll entertain offers. (There were no offers. I've had a dozen computers since the KayPro. Technology has come a long way. Unfortunately, comparable advances in the quality of Western lifestyles have not been noted.)

That was all in the first edition. Nearly a decade later, the 30th edition began with musings about the impact of the endeavor:

This is AWR #30! Can you believe it? Does this make me the most opinionated wellness writer in the history of the planet? Can I become a celebrity doing this? Is the country better off than it was when the first edition came out in 1984? If so, is it conclusively due to the Ardell Wellness Report , or should other variables be attended? These are tough questions. You decide.

But, if you will forgive a burst of moderate immodesty, I do have one claim to fame. As a consequence of the 30 issues, I have caused to be added one word (worseness) and several acronyms to the English language. These include but are not limited to MOL (meaning of life), DBRU (dead equivalents), ODWOW's (obviously deranged worseness-oriented wackos), BNWW (brave new way to wellness), the WO (wellness orgasm) and, last issue, AUI (surely you did not forget already -- "aging under the influence" -- of a wellness lifestyle.)

On November 12th, 1999, the first of the weekly E-AWRs was produced. As of mid-September, 2006, 348 of these Friday supplements have been distributed. Here's a bit of the bombast that accompanied the inaugural E-AWR for old times sake:

Besides adding value to your subscription and giving you the best bargain available in the whole wide world of wellness, other reasons for producing the E-AWR from this day until the end of the world or my demise, whichever comes first, are as follows:

I can't fit all the material in the reduced quarterly Ardell Wellness Reports.

Too much is happening in the world about which I disapprove. In the interests of justice and truth, subscribers should not have to wait three months for opinions about these varied wellness matters!

The weekly E-AWRs will facilitate bulletins about timely personal projects (several were mentioned), the SeekWellness website and all manner of health topics, emotional problems and life situations.

So, there's a bit of Wellness Report history. I'll try not to indulge myself with another summary until either one or the other reaches a tempting anniversary number at some future date (for example, 100 for the AWR, 500 for the E-AWR. Or, maybe the occasion of 25 years of AWRs in 2009.

If you would like a complementary copy of an eventually-to-be-historic AWR written between 1984 and the present, just ask -- and send along a self-addressed stamped envelope.

Stay well and look on the bright side of life.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of play. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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