don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Is there a wellness perspective on sexuality? No. There is not a wellness perspective on anything. No one individual or organization controls or even attempts to interpret the concept to this degree. The National Wellness Institute, the closest there is to a representative voice for wellness, does not issue such positions or proclamations. I think it might be pretty cool if they did, provided such proclamations were always consistent with and reflective of my opinions. I fear, however, that they might stray, on occasions, from my views. So, better that the NWI stay out of this and leave it to me.

The drive for sex is a powerful human desire, perhaps the most powerful motive there is next to the urge to plunder and pillage. (Kidding, though mankind has been known to do a great deal of both over time.) Napolean Hill, of Think and Grow Rich fame, believed sexual drive makes the imagination keener, the heart more courageous, the will more powerful, persistence greater and creative abilities more advanced than at other times. So strong and impelling is the desire for sexual contact that men freely risk reputation, liberty and even life itself to indulge their cravings for it. Nearly everyone save a few of the holier than thou amongst us like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell have a great interest in and energy for sex, whereas the drives for fitness, health, critical thinking and personal excellence seem much less powerful.

I personally favor sexuality, and have been a supporter of this drive since the onset of puberty. I believe sexuality should be understood, discussed and embraced in an open manner, free of shame, guilt and moral restrictions. I think this is a wellness view, consistent with personal responsibility and the embrace of that which contributes to a high quality of life. I think religions have often made sex difficult if not dysfunctional, and that billions of people throughout history have had to endure ignorance about and suppression of their sexual nature. In turn, due to religious interpretations about sexual morality, governments have enforced all manner of restrictive rules and laws that constrain sexual expression.

A wellness perspective on sexuality might have some of the following elements:

1. A recognition that most people have been subjected to so much dysfunctional information during the formative years that the reality is, insofar as ever having a healthy perspective on sexuality, icantdoit. It's too late. Most have internalized the bizarre norms, customs, beliefs, traditions and practices hostile to sexuality of a wholesome, open and expressive nature that it's too late. The best to hope for is, by adopting icantdoit strategies, is to become, over time, a little less sexually suppressed and screwed up.
   
   
2. An orientation to getting your needs met to the extent possible without running afoul of your neighbors, co-workers or society in general. Do what you can to enjoy guilt-free sex without coming to the attention of the authorities.
   
   
3. A readiness to support grass roots initiates to defend freedom of expression, particularly regarding the rights to enjoy sexual expression, whether or not the majority approves of such expressions (for instance, gays rights, Internet porn, cross-dressing, public nudity in designated places and so on).
   
   
4. The right of consenting adults to do as they like with their bodies. Unfortunately, if you live in Iran, Saudi Arabia or most other countries in the world, particularly theocracies or non-democratic societies controlled by right-wing Republican types as seen today in America, forget it. Personally, I believe governments have no business whatsoever in citizen bedrooms. The role of the State should be the protection of the public good from injury. Morality is a private matter.
   
   
5. A devotion to healthy lifestyles, particularly regular daily exercise that keeps your sexuality at a high level of performance. A recent CNN report linked exercise to a better sex life. Besides the obvious fact that our general health leads to poor or zero sexual function, so keeping exceptional fitness enhances performance and satisfaction in the performing whatever it is you like to do sexually speaking. A Harvard School of Public Health study of 31,000 men showed the incidence of erectile dysfunction was 30 percent lower for those men who were most physically active. Another study at the University of British Columbia gave evidence of greater sexual response in women. Finally, if you exercise a lot and become terrifically fit, you will look a whole lot more appealing to whomever it is you might want to have sex with.

Basically, sex is and should be seen as an enjoyable part of life, a great way of meeting new people and a human right that gives life extraordinary meaning and purpose, at least while it's taking place. Afterwards, well, it's still good and makes it easier to get a good night's sleep.

Be well and look on the bright side.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of relationships. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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