don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

"It's a big ask expecting to stay healthy without keeping yourself fit. It's an even bigger ask expecting to get better by having someone do something to you; sooner or later you have to do something to yourself." ~John Miller

I love that expression -"It's a big ask." It's Aussie talk, of course, for expecting too much. John Miller, an Aussie who calls himself "a mug punter from downunder," wrote in early February. He wanted me to know I had influenced his thinking -- and for the good, I might add. My influence on him occurred over a decade ago, when he attended my performance in Adelaide, Australia.

I enjoy getting such posts. Messages from strangers that assert the amazing news that I somehow had a positive effect on another person's life often seem to arrive at fortuitous times, times when I'm thinking "Aunt Katie" (my grandmother) was right. Aunt Katie, you see, was fond of saying, during frequent occasions when I misbehaved, "Donny, you'll never amount to anything." Well, not so, if John Miller is to be believed. It seems I amounted to a positive influence on John Miller! He wrote: "Don, you wouldn't know me from a bar of soap, but I attended a seminar you conducted many years ago in Adelaide. Your advice about meaning and purpose in life stimulated me. I wrote some stuff at the time on what I thought the meaning and purpose of my life was and have been fine-tuning it ever since. I expect to continue to do so, but here's where I am at present."

He then appended his statement entitled "Some Life, Some Meaning and Some Purpose." I thought you might find it of interest. John's statement shows the link between physical and psychological well-being, how unlikely the one is without the other. He also strikes a chord by acknowledging the importance of life as a work in progress, how we must choose our meaning and purpose and how a strong sense of personal responsibility is invaluable. Here is the statement, in John's own words. Enjoy and look for that expression, "It's a big ask."

Some Life, Some Meaning and Some Purpose by John Miller

I was born with the potential to live the life I'd like to live.

My life is empty and meaningless, until I give my life meaning and purpose. It doesn't matter much what the meaning and purpose is, as long as I think it is meaningful and purposeful. I can choose what to think and do.

It is a big ask expecting to gain meaning and purpose for my own life by having someone do something to me. Sooner or later I have to do something for myself; that involves thinking, listening, introspection, meditation, reflection contemplation, reading, conversation, time, effort, money and action. It was Descartes who said, 'I think, therefore I am'. I do, therefore I am.

My search for M&P transcends acceptance of the myths, superstitions, dogmas, creeds, ideologies, characteristics, attitudes, values, beliefs, habits, likes and dislikes ... of others.

I am responsible for my own thoughts, feelings, choices and actions - and my past, present and future life circumstances.

As an adult, I'm responsible for the effects on myself of the indoctrination I received as a child and which I continue to receive from the hegemony of my culture, from the mass media, from my family, peers, colleagues. Getting out of the box, being me and getting to the essence of who I am is the great challenge.

The life I lead, the perceptions I have and the reality I experience are unique and peculiar to myself.

What other people think of me is not my business. I don't need either their approval or disapproval. I'm my own person. I'll say and do what I like without having to worry what other people think. I accept the consequences.

My life presents me with decisions, choices and challenges I am free to accept or reject to be:

• powerful or weak
• courageous or vapid
• happy or sad
• wise or stupid
• awake or asleep
• optimistic or pessimistic
• knowledgeable or ignorant
• focused or deviating
• active or passive
• willing to move out or draw back
• ready serve or be served
• building walls or bridges
• opening doors or closing them
• participating or spectating
• bludging off society or contributing to it
• sitting on my arse or galvanizing myself into action
• thankful or not.

Life has its contradictions. Life is difficult and easy, happy and sad, rich and poor. This is my life. It is not a dress rehearsal for the next one.

Throughout my life I will be plagued by doubts centered on thoughts about the life I've led, the life I could have led, the life I'm leading now and the life I'll be living in the future.

My quest for a life of meaning and purpose requires me to engage in constant crap detection - taking a good hard look at myself and what's going on around me.

I will never give up the quest to live the life I want to lead until I'm in the box.

The things that stop me from doing what I want to do and being what I want to be are

• laziness
• ignorance
• stupidity
• attachment to a fixed way of being.

My life takes on greater meaning and purpose and I receive great joy when I assist others to live the lives they'd like to live.

That was John Miller on meaning and purpose. Writing out your ideas on meaning and purpose may be a productive way to stay conscious of and up-to-date on your own evolving sense of why you are here, what it's all about and how you see things in terms of advancing toward a life that is healthful, satisfying and contributory. While recommending such a thing might be a big ask, it seems a useful suggestion that could pay off handsomely.

Be well. Always look on the bright side of life.

Biographical Note About John Miller - mug punter from downunder
John Miller is a physical educator who wanders Australia presenting health seminars to people working in corporate and government organizations. He describes himself as "about 60 years old, about 5'10" and about 5Kg over weight." He has had a life-long involvement in physical activity. Regarding his athletic prowess, he claims to have been "at the top of the list of those who are hopeless and the bottom of those who are any good." He added: "My list of athletic achievements peaked in 1963." For more about John, go to http://www.millerhealth.com.au/johnmiller/index.htm.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of applied wellness. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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