don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

We have in half a dozen or so essays outlined why "I Can't Do It" (henceforth simply icantdoit) seems a good lens for glimpsing sensible (in other words, limited but realistic) possibilities for a pretty good life. To be useful, such scenarios should take account of an endless range of generic obstacles and threats (pestilence, famines, earthquakes, corrupt and/or moronic world and local leaders, for examples) as well as more personal barriers and dangers unique to your own existence (limiting genetics, accidents, treachery, fear, ignorance, irrational behavior, panic and much more). The wonder is that anyone finds health, happiness, serenity, love, meaning or much else for long, if at all--and the reality might be, almost surely is, most don't. However, you might manage it, aided by an icantdoit perspective. 
 
If you read the previous pieces by Grant Donovan and myself, you have a basic sense for the icantdoit mindset. Icantdoit has been offered as a practical way to deal with the reality that most if not everyone is in over their heads, that life is much tougher than most of us realize and that only a few are going to get their needs met. Be among the unlikely short-term winners in the game of life (in the long term, of course, everyone loses)--eliminate unnecessary and impossible goals and ambitions that masquerade as essentials, or "must haves." Most probably are not essential or even beneficial. Many are dysfunctional preferences, like having to have the prettiest girl, or to be thin or rich or powerful, to win the contest and so on. An icantdoit philosophy will help you adopt constructive, effective and realistic points of view--and you will benefit from doing so. 
 
Life is pretty simple, really. People rush around trying to get their needs met. Needs that consume nearly all the time available are those found at the bottom of Maslow's famous hierarchy, namely, survival functions--safety, security, that kind of thing. In other words, life for most adults consists of searching for and trying to hold a job, mate (including all manner of substitute mating activities not requiring a missionary position), fight each other (mostly in sublimated ways), sleep and eat, worry, take medications and so on. 
 
If you agree that this is largely so, then an icantdoit strategy that lowers expectations and minimizes stress will prove to be a very good thing. We advise that you strive for and bring into consciousness small pleasures, every day, as often as can be managed. Of course, a key element of an icantdoit mindset is to live sensibility consistent with wellness tenets. Become and stay as fit as you can as long as possible, eat well, rest and renew adequately, resist self destructive personal habits, avoid dogmas via critical thinking, create a supportive network and personal environment, cherish a good sense of humor and otherwise shape a life with as many DBRU equivalents or little delights and smiles as can be managed. Never forget that life is shaped more than we will ever know by chance--be grateful and appreciative when things go well and, now and then, grateful as well that they have not gone very, very bad (for example, visits by meteors or pandemics or thermonuclear incidents while you're still here, personal encounters with random acts of violence, suffering the election of more right wing Republicans and so on). 
 
All that's left, having noted these things, is to remind you to always look on the bright side of life.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of applied wellness. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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