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by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.
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Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

ICDI: Give Up Hoping and Praying

Wednesday November 16, 2005

He that lives upon hope will die fasting.

~Benjamin Franklin

Millions of people throughout the world take shelter in hope. It has always been this way. This is quite understandable. Given that, as Thomas Hobbes noted in The Leviathan, "the life of man is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short," other than hope, not much else is left to live for.

Hope has many seductions and charms. It tends to shut out unpleasantries. It gives a feeling of optimism that things will get better. It often serves as a safe substitute for action. Samuel Johnson remarked that "the miseries of poverty, sickness and captivity are insupportable without it," but failed to note that hope's faith-based desires change nothing. 

Hope, "to cherish a desire with anticipation" (Merriam-Webster), is harmless enough if not taken seriously. Hope in itself is as promising as chances of good fortune derived from tossing a coin in a fountain. In other words, it has no connection with outcomes in the real world. 

Life's a bit like war. There are long periods of suffocating boredom, punctuated by heart-stopping moments of excitement, fear, danger or, best of all, positive excitement. The latter is what being healthy is really about.

Unfortunately, exercise and other forms of wellness behaviors are just not very compelling or enjoyable, at least not for most people. If it were otherwise, everyone would be fit and healthy, slim and sexually interesting, like me. And you, too, of course. But, we know that most are not remotely so. Exercising and doing other things attendant upon looking after oneself are viewed as worse than boring--most exercise is seen as dreadful, painful, difficult and even hazardous. So, people put it off or give up on the idea of ever doing it -- and the consequences are all too obvious. 

So, give up hope. Accept an icantdo it outlook, and settle for a few modest, near-term plans that are easy to realize. With lowered expectations and a focus on little pleasures, particularly healthy delights of an oft-occurring nature, life might be less solitary, poor, nasty and brutish. It will, of course, still be short, so don't neglect those pleasures and all manner of play while not taking anything too seriously. 

My advice is to invest energy each day in simple pleasures that make your life a bit more enjoyable. 

Good wishes. Always look on the bright side of life. 

Domain: purpose
Subdomain: applied wellness

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