don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

It may seem counter-intuitive to some to hear a wellness enthusiast and promoter like me urging people to adopt an "icantdoit" perspective. Don't be fooled. This is a strategy for success. What people can't do is attain unrealistic goals for which they are not equipped genetically, culturally, educationally or otherwise. The norm for most is to embrace a wide set of varied but unrealistic expectations. One almost certain outcome of hopeless goals and desires is failure. Along with failures of a repeated nature comes pessimism, low self-regard, diminished performance in multiple aspects of life and, oddly enough, even MORE unrealistic hopes and dreams, goals and aspirations. The latter, of course, are even less likely to come to fruition. Thus, a vicious cycle repeats itself, time and again. The consequences for most are disappointments at work, at love, at play and otherwise.

One symptom of the disconnect between capabilities and desires or expectations is the ideal of a healthy lifestyle, a chimera only a favored few can manage. Is it any mystery that 70 percent of Americans are overweight (a third of whom are obese)? No, it is not--anything else would be a miracle! Hoping for miracles, and other faith-based strategies not supported by capabilities and extraordinary resources, are yet other forms of unrealistic thinking doomed to disappoint.

Consider adopting the mindset suggested, namely, icantdoit. Using this approach, the burden of foolish expectations can be lifted. Paradoxically, an icantdoit mindset gives you the freedom to do the reverse, that is, to do it --provided, of course, that you keep the "it" at a modest level. 

What IS a modest level? That depends. It depends on a myriad of factors, including the basics already noted (in other words, your genetics, culture, education), plus your support system, your personality and your horoscope. (Kidding.) 

Naturally, you are the only one who can decide if your goals are set low enough, but not too low, to allow some modest achievements, satisfactions, advances, DBRU equivalents and all the rest in varied areas of life. To increase the chances that you won't get too ambitious and find yourself neurotically stressed, flummoxed, overwhelmed and otherwise out of sorts (in other words, facing repeated setbacks and failures), like nearly everyone else, work on personal qualities supportive of an icandoit mindset. These include but are not limited to the following:

1. Self-knowledge. Bad enough to be fooled by others; don't be taken in by yourself. 
   
    
2. A personal standard of success. If you feel ambitious, and being told how great you are by family and friends can do that, resist the feeling. Set the bar low, then leap over it with room to spare. Better to wow everyone else than disappoint yourself.  
   
   
3. Establish small but workable priorities. Better to do a little more than necessary in an easy workload than to fall even slightly shy of an ambitious agenda. 

These three tips will help you remain on track with an icantdoit mindset. Celebrate your limits, don't apologize for or deny them.

A few other personal qualities relating to a broad perspective are also worth mentioning at this point. All involve having a sensible perspective on the nature of the universe and your role in it. Some folks might find such notions unsettling. I believe all are mentally liberating. They include the following:

1. Life is meaningless. There is no grand plan.
   
2. The more meaningless you find life to be, the more fun you can have.  
   
   
3. Most people are losers.
   
   
4. The world's a crappy place.
   
   
5. No matter what you try to achieve, it comes to nothing.
   
   
6. You're going to die soon--no matter what you do.

There.  Don't you feel better already?

Be well. Always look on the bright side of life. 

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of applied wellness. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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