don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of. 
~ Robert Benchley, 1889 - 1945
 
Everyone has phobias. Most are not a big deal, if only those experiencing could see it that way.They are annoying, frightening, sometimes disabling and can scare the bejabbers out of the sufferer and, making matters worse, some insensitive dolts will make fun of the person in the throes of a phobia. Really insensitive types might suggest they are no big deal. Well, that's how it is. Life's difficult, unfair and filled with crises--and then you die.

I say phobias are not a big deal only because I suspect they are but a part of a larger problem, namely, that most people are crazy! A so-called phobia is just a symptom of faulty neuro-wiring, which could be caused by genetics, overexposure to a ghastly culture or a witch doctor's curse that you took seriously. What, exactly then, is a phobia? The term has varied definitions but most cover pretty much the same territory. Basically, a phobia is any emotional response of fear, dread, worry or anxiety to something--anything that other people consider an overreaction. Other people consider a phobic reaction pure madness, proof that you are a lunatic; that, of course, is uncharitable. 
 
Phobias are said to be simple to understand and usually easy and quick to treat. However, most treatments involve combinations of behavioral and cognitive therapies (for example, exposure to the feared object or situation while seeking better to understand the thought patterns involved) and drugs, unless you are a religious fundamentalist, in which case the answer to all life's troubles is the same-prayer. I would not know anything about the latter approach--as a freethinker heathen infidel atheist, I have a phobia about religion.
 
Probias relate to a matter of great contention in psychiatric circles: When does weird behavior outside the norm warrant classification as a mental illness? This is a difficult zone to measure, since the norms we rely on to guide behavior are ill defined and relative to place, culture, education and much else. For instance, if I lived in Saudi Arabia, my attitudes about personal freedom, women's rights, tolerance for diversity and disinterest in Islam would be worse for my peace of mind and ability to fit into society than just about any of the phobias that plague people in this country. Thus, phobias are relative. It is always difficult to be certain that someone is certifiably bonkers without an autopsy. The latter can reveal, as in the Schiavo case, indisputable biological markers of irreversible brain damage for which no amount of behavioral or other therapy or treatment will regenerate the massive loss of neurons. Yet, only a crazy person would opt for such a procedure to establish his sanity. 

According to writer Benedict Carey, good evidence exists in support of a contention by some experts that "more than half of Americans would develop mental disorders in their lives, raising questions about where mental health ends and illness begins." (See "Snake Phobias, Moodiness and a Battle in Psychiatry," New York Times, June 14, 2005.) This seems to me an exaggeration of the mental health status of Americans--my intuitive sense is that only a few Americans are mentally well, including thee and me, and I have my doubts about thee. 
 
A key variable in the debate as to who is and who isn't a bit mental is how miserable need one be in order to "earn" such a classification? It's not an inconsequential matter. Such standards determine who qualifies for reimbursement of mental heath services under Medicare. My interest in a better assessment method is to have a better, more accurate grip on the question, "Are Americans crazy?" Given the nature of the leaders we elect, the lifestyles most lead and the characters we make into celebrities, my wellness-inspired point of view is this: "Yes, we're lunatics." Phobias are the lesser of our problems. Promoting sound mental health is the greater challenge facing the nation.
 
So, let's get back to phobias. How to get over or at least manage one or more of these suckers, assuming most people are crazy to start with? For openers, let's accept that phobias are another difficulty in contemporary life. Today, as in the era Thomas Hobbes described in "Leviathan," life for most entails "No arts; no letters; no society; and which is worst of all, continual fear and danger of violent death; and the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." This mindset put things like fear of snakes, fear of flying or whatever in a healthy perspective. 
 
If I acknowledge that I am basically crazy, I can then adopt what I believe is the most effective point of view for dealing with phobias, or whatever comes along, namely, "I can't do it." That is, I accept that I can't do it, whatever IT is. After all, if I COULD do it (eliminate a phobia, lose weight, exercise vigorously on a daily basis, find and sustain satisfying relationships, for examples), I would have done so by now! But, I have not, therefore, I can't do it! 
 
Now I don't have to obsess about my phobias, shortcomings or whether my life has sufficient arts, letters or society in it, or if it's solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short. What can I do about this, in any case? Nothing. Why? I can't do it. I can't manage any of it. Besides, I'm crazy, to boot. 
 
There. With that single declaration, all the pressure to perform is gone. I'm free to do what I can. ANYTHING I accomplish is a breakthrough. 
 
I had a grandmother who was a master motivator of negative psychology. She employed a one-line zinger every time I misbehaved, which must have been quite often. I had to address her as "Aunt Katie," even though she was not my aunt. Whenever I did or said something inappropriate, she would move into my space, get up close and personal, look me in the eye, point a finger and intone these immortal words: "Donnie, you'll never amount to anything." 
 
Well, there was strong evidence at the time that Aunt Katie had made a reasonable prediction. I had shown little promise; my prospects seemed dim. Years later when I graduated from the 8th grade, and later from high school, I felt pretty special. These were not earth-shaking accomplishments that changed the course of history. But, I had amounted to SOMETHING, and thus had disproved Aunt Katie's prediction. That I would never amount to ANYTHING was incorrect. I had accomplished something.
 
Every time I did something right over the course of more than half a century since Auntie's first such gloomy forecast of my future, I experienced a sense of exhilaration. You can create the same conditions for dealing with poor prospects, phobias and the likelihood that you're crazy.
 
By adopting the attitude, "I can't do it," you create your own Aunt Katie. Just as her grim expectations regarding my future gave me a standard I could overcome, so too can this reality mindset give consequence to all manner of feats that you might find consequential, from phobia elimination to whatever else you care about, within reason. No, you can't do anything you set your mind to do, as some motivational idiots would have you believe in RAH RAH classes, but you can amaze yourself, time after time, provided you set your expectations low enough. 
 
Maybe "I Can't Do It" is not a panacea, the next major direction for the philosophy profession, the basis for a new religion or anything else of a cosmic nature, but it should be helpful as a way to deal with the fact that you are probably crazy, as well as your fear of snakes, or other phobias or lifestyle issues. 
 
What do YOU think? Might I be on to something?

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of mental health. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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