don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Jeannette Angell is the author of several novels -Callgirl Legende, Wings, Flight and The Illusionist - and of the recent memoir, . Visit her website where you can read book excerpts.
 
Don: First of all, thanks for adding so much background to the account of your years as an escort. The side commentaries about balancing careers, juggling boyfriends with clients and the changing dynamics of prostitution made for a very good read. I recommend Callgirl for interesting reading on several levels. 
 
My first question is one an attractive female college student might put to you: "Would you advise for or against this approach to meeting one's financial needs while working one's way through school?" 

Jeannette: I'd say, first, be sure that you feel good about the decision. If you have feelings of fear, or guilt, or trepidation, then you should listen to them, and find some other way of making ends meet. As Peach often says, it's not for everybody. And if you start out feeling uncertain, that'll do you in. But if you feel that you want to try it -- do so. It is for many women a terrific source of income, a good second job or a way to get through school.

Don:  Could you offer a few suggestions for coeds for improving the odds that they, too, would reflect on this time in their lives as a positive one, as you did in the last pages of Callgirl?   

Jeannette: If you feel that it's a reasonable choice, then do try it -- once --and see how that goes. If you're already thinking about it, then you may well find that it will work for you, because perceiving it as a viable option says a lot about your having thought through the layers of issues that surround it. Select an escort service that's run by a woman, and ask if she has "regular" clients. Interview several madams, and as I said, stick to madams. Ask to only see regulars until you've got your footing. They'll treat you well. Ask if you have the right to refuse to see a given client, or the right to refuse to do something you don't want to do. Only sign on if the answer to those two questions is yes. Only, only, only practice safe sex: no job is worth your life.

Don:  Suppose for a moment America did not have statues against prostitution. Given appropriate regulation for public safety as with other businesses, what would be the harm? 

JEANNETTE: I see no harm at all. It's a form of recreation that works for some and not for others. It is sometimes used in ways I'd rather not see it used, but that is really the choice/decision of the client, not the callgirl, and I can say that for many other kinds of businesses. This isn't inherently immoral, any more than running a company like Enron is inherently immoral. It's how you do it that counts. And the reality is that it's going to happen anyway. It's not called the world's oldest profession for nothing. Why not make it, at the very least, safe and productive?

Don:  What safeguards could be instituted in the unlikely case that payments for sex were legalized in our lifetimes? Regulation. Protection for the client against dishonest agencies (which would hopefully then disappear). Protection for the sex worker in cases of abuse (either by clients or pimps) and/or nonpayment (same two categories). Possibly - although I understand that this would be controversial - a requirement that professionals practice safe sex, which would go a long way toward protecting everybody.

Jeannette: What kinds of regulation, training, norms and customs might prevent or discourage the exploitation of women you rail against in the closing pages of Callgirl? Legalization, legalization, legalization. Did I mention legalization? Any argument against making it legal is really a reaction to fear. It's time that we got rid of some of our fears and thought about both the safety and well-bring of everyone involved, and about the fact that taxing this profession would bring in substantial revenue that could be used for all sorts of positive social services.

Don: To shift to a positive perspective, since wellness IS a positive approach to a healthy and enjoyable life (not a philosophy that focuses on scaring people about all the grim consequences of doing the wrong things), what benefits would you foresee from the elimination of stigmas surrounding payments for sexual favors? 

Jeannette: I've been promoting this book for a while, most actively in the past few weeks. Many of the radio and TV personalities have been saying to me (cloaked though their questions are in well-chosen words and accompanied by a smile), essentially, that I have no morals. When one starts from that perspective, it's difficult to learn anything. I have morals. I probably have a stricter internal moral code than do many of them. But because of this stigma, I am pre-judged; people feel that they have the right to accuse me of all sorts of moral lapses. Look: it's not about "payment for sexual favors." It's about a fair exchange of money for time and talent. I haven't "sold my body" (last time I checked, I was still attached to it); I have offered a service and have been paid for that service. The fact that the service is sex should have nothing to do with judging the exchange. I'd like to see sex workers have the same rights that any other worker has - and, first off, the right to have their work respected as such.

Don: I was struck by the details of what to me seemed like ghastly lifestyle practices you described while you were engaged in the escort trade. You often made distinctions between your situation as an educated person with a life beyond the trade and the hopeless, no future lowly streetwalkers in garish outfits working for pimps. However, your own lifestyle and that of sister escorts gave the impression of very hazardous habit patterns, including habitual drug use, high alcohol consumption, poor nutrition, insufficient sleep and little exercise. Is this necessary, or could an escort live well, well enough, let's say, to be training for triathlons, marathons and/or otherwise as fit as the proverbial fiddle? 

Jeannette: I believe that it would be possible. The issue is that many of the women I met were doing this as a second job - they had another, "day" job, were attending school, or were caring for their children or even an elderly parent during daytime hours. It's never healthy to burn the candle at both ends, no matter what you're doing with your time. So for someone for whom this was a career -- sure. Absolutely. While I won't defend my own lapses into alcohol and drug use, I also continued to work out, as did many of the women I knew. I believe that most of us do the best that we can in any given circumstances. Under different circumstances, we might do things differently.

Don: The spotlight in Callgirl is not only your story, but also on women working as prostitutes, full or part-time, at the high-end and the bottom ranks, as well as the customers (men, in other words). What advice would you offer a visitor to SeekWellness who might want to retain a young lady for an hour or two? How can a guy get good value for his money, protect himself and do right by the professional? Or, is this a topic that requires its own guidebook? 

Jeannette: If a person wants all of those things, the first item on the agenda is to lobby for legalization. Seriously. On a more immediate level, I would advise someone in much the same way I would advise a potential sex worker: look for an agency that has been around for a while, that has a number of regular clients, and that charges by the hour, not the activity. Complain if the callgirl is not as advertised. Madams want repeat business; the best way to ensure your satisfaction (in this as in many other areas) is to be honest and clear with her at the beginning, and at the end.

Don: You mentioned "the thrill of living on the edge for a while." What is it about the edge so many of us, myself included, seem to enjoy? Can those good feelings be obtained without danger or risks or is danger inherent in the appeal of such initiatives? 

Jeannette: When I was in high school, in France - a convent school, no less - I hid in a bathroom with another girl and shared an illicit cigarette. I hated it, the taste, and the smell, the coughing. But I came out of that bathroom feeling so hip, so sophisticated, so cool... because, for that moment, I was being a "bad girl." Granted, it wasn't very bad by most standards, but the point was that it *felt* that way. We're attracted to the James Deans, the rebels, the people who do push the envelope. Perhaps it's because so much of life does seem so predictable; perhaps it's because these activities and icons tend to glamorize things that aren't glamorous at all (come on - cigarettes rolled into a t-shirt sleeve?) and we all yearn for a little glamour. Are there healthy ways of living on the edge? I don't expect so; but I do think that it's healthy, once in a while, for us each to push the envelope a little, if for no other reason than to shake things up a bit.

Don: You note "a lifestyle becomes a habit if you don't watch out." Those of us who promote wellness consider that a good thing, though of course we usually have a different kind of lifestyle in mind than the one you describe in Callgirl. What are some of your best lifestyle qualities today? 

Jeannette: Ah, it does work both ways, doesn't it? Well, I'm far healthier now than I was back in those years - physically, mentally, spiritually. I have found a life-partner who makes the most tedious of tasks worthwhile and the most wonderful of experiences far more wonderful. Writing the book, while difficult in some ways, is helping me feel as though I'm working toward making the world a better place - more understanding, less judgmental. (Maybe world peace is next!) I'm doing work that is worthwhile and that I love, I'm working toward valuable goals in both my personal and professional lives, and I'm making time for the "fun" things that I never seemed to have time for before. It's all good.

Don:  What kinds of reactions have you had to your book? Do you feel that it's having the desired effect? 

Jeannette: Yes -- that, and more. I know that I can't change the world, but I CAN change what is in my power, and I had really hoped through writing this book to confront and challenge stereotypes - while at the same time affirming the life and work of people engaged in the business. I've been astonished by the emails I've been receiving from people who frequent bordellos, people who worked as escorts years ago and have kept that part of their lives hidden, people who find themselves changed by reading it. That's from the readers. Interviewers have been something else altogether. What has truly surprised me is the clear hostility that has been communicated very clearly from many interviewers, some of whom are apparently happy to cling to the stereotypes that I am trying to dispel: I am immoral, I steal women's husbands, I would do anything for money. It's a pity that the media cannot be as open as the public to what I've been writing and talking about.
 
Don:  Yike. That's awful! Who has been interviewing you? Rush Limbaugh? Pat Robertson? The Roman Catholic Cardinals in Rome? John Ashcroft? I'm sorry to learn that you have been so treated, but I'm guessing that even these silly people have had their rigidities loosened from listening to you and reflecting on the kinds of answers you offer, as well as observing the admirable manner in which you handle aggressive personal questions, challenges and even unfair, ill-informed statements. I think what you have done as a callgirl and especially in writing about it constitute an extraordinary journey of a positive nature for you, and a good thing for many of us. In my view, you are offer worthy insights that many will surely find highly interest and, as often as not, beneficial. Yours is an exciting story, well told.

I wish you well, Jeannette, and congratulate you on your wisdom and courage. Any parting words of wellness wisdom for visitors to SeekWellness.com? 

Jeannette: We all need to take good care of ourselves, but we also really need to take care of each other. We need to learn to differentiate between the frightened coerced teenager who finds herself on the street because she has no other place to go, and the highly-paid escort who has made choices that may be different from those made by other people. Perhaps if it ever were legalized, the tax income from the latter could be used to help the former; that would be my wish. But none of it will happen until we overcome learned prejudices that incite harsh judgments that are uninformed and uncaring. Let's instead try to see in each other in the spirit of a common humanity. 

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of factual knowledge. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

 Send e-mail to Don Ardell