don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.  Aristotle

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

I recommend you examine your doctor(s) before you allow him/her to examine you. I have a simple question you could ask of every doctor you encounter in the next few weeks or months. The question does not constitute a complete exam for your doctor--other questions and lines of inquiry are in order for the larger purpose of vetting a physician. The limited purpose of my single question is to eliminate a certain kind of doctor, namely, a physician not worthy of your trust. 
 
I'll offer my simple test question in just a moment. First, let me mention that there are at least two distinct kinds of information you should have about any doctor with whom you plan to do business. The first deals with basic competence--is the doctor well educated, up-to-speed with recent developments in his field and basically sufficiently knowledgeable to deserve your confidence and expectation of quality care? That is the first level of inquiry I recommend. Everyone already knows the importance of this kind of understanding, though of course very few patients, myself included, actually go to the trouble to establish a doctor's bona fides. We just assume that if a doctor has an office, patients, and diplomas on the wall and wears the requisite white coat, he must have gone to a medical school, somewhere, and be licensed to practice. That, of course, is a leap of faith, but life is filled with daily leaps of faith, even for those of us who have little use for faith, as in religions. 
 
The second level is where my single test question comes into play. This level entails a check beyond medical skills. This is the level of character, judgment and human decency. My question probes whether your prospective (or current!) doctor might be an extremist nutcase whacko, partly responsible for sustaining in high public office reprehensible pols like Republican theocrat Tom DeLay of Texas!
 
Here is the test question: Has the doctor you are considering been recognized as a "2004 Physician of the Year?"
 
Normally, such a designation would be a high honor, or so you would think. Not in this case. In this case, the circumstances of the award indicate that the doctor is a slime bag, a backer of Right-Wing politicians and a person so desperate for recognition that he would buy a meaningless award. A "physician of the year, in this case, is something any doctor can purchase. In fact, hundreds, maybe thousands of doctors nationwide, have such a certificate hanging on their walls. They bought their award, with a $1,250 contribution to the National Republican Congressional Committee.
 
An investigation by ABC News, using an undercover physician who had been invited to Washington for the "Physician of the Year" awards ceremony, uncovered this scandal. Later checking revealed that the award was the bird-brain-child of the vile Delay, who advanced the idea in 1999 to raise campaign funds for congressional Republicans. 
 
You have to wonder: Who would accept such a phony award? One answer--not any doctor you would want to have anything to do with, unless of course you LIKE Congressman DeLay and his Republican colleagues. 
 
The awards ceremony must have been a hoot. In addition to the dastardly majority leader, the president was the featured speaker at this affair. Both politicians denounced trial lawyers and otherwise tailored their remarks to excite doctor interests. The president said the "doctors of the year" were making "a wise investment about the future of this country that would (among other wonderful outcomes) allow each and every American to rise to his or her own God-given talents." Really? I wonder how that works? If this turns out as the president promised, the rise of every American for only $1,250 would seem a pretty good return for the money. 
 
One "winner" who did grant an interview to ABC offered, "Basically it's one big monstrous donation to the party." I suppose if you are a doctor who supports the party of God, it's a way to fund the holy cause while gaining a bit of recognition. One doctor said the award would be a great marketing tool, an impressive honor to share with patients. Yet, will most patients be impressed, especially if they learn the true nature of the "honor?" I suppose that depends on THEIR politics, and THEIR opinion of how much honor there is in phony awards given for campaign donations. 
 
Democrats certainly are not impressed. Fred Wertheimer, president of Democracy 21, a government watchdog group, offered, "It's like the old diploma mills. It's the kind of scam that we've seen congressional investigations look at when they take place in the private sector. But here, since members of Congress are doing it, we're not going to see any investigation."
 
Of course, you can do your own investigation. Ask the question of every doctor you interview and, if the answer is "Yes," head for the door. 
 
I'll end this now, for there is a delivery person at my own door awaiting my signature and a check for some award I've been granted. Seems the US Congress has named me "Wellness Promoter of the Year." Sounds pretty cool. You should be impressed. After all, it's going to cost me $625. I suppose Congressman DeLay assumes we wellness types are not as affluent as doctors. Let's see if we're as gullible, Right-wing oriented and vainglorious.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of humor. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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