don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

That the king can do no wrong is a necessary and fundamental principle of the English constitution.
Author: Karl Otto von Schonhausen Bismarck
Source: Speech in the Prussian Parliament

You may wonder, "What do you mean, a wellness perspective on the wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles? Can there BE a wellness perspective on this marriage? Or, for that matter, ANY marriage?" Or, maybe you murmured, "What bloody business is it of Don's who marries whom in England, anyway? Or anywhere?" If you did not harbor such questions, then perhaps you reflected somewhat as follows: "Who gives a royal dump about Prince Charles and his women, the Queen, the Church of England or those silly Brits?"
 
Well, if you had thoughts even remotely along such lines, or even if you did not, there is much about the upcoming wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles to provoke an opinion or two. Freedom to speak out, to comment on whatever topic comes to mind seems a healthy thing, and there is much about the fuss over this particular union and the rich context in which it will occur to catch a wellite's fancy. Consider some of the amazing things going on surrounding this event -- and what such conditions reveal about dysfunctional human nature. First, the facts, briefly for those with the good sense NOT to follow the Prince's planned wedding closely:

• This is the second marriage for both parties, and is set therefore as a civil ceremony, more or less.  
  
  
• Camilla Parker Bowles' ex is not dead, which complicates things because of the rules set out by the Church of England, the official state church.  
  
  
• The wedding might be ruled illegal. (The Marriage Act of 1836 allowed civil unions for everybody except members of the royal family.)
  
  
• A civil service marriage might be held in Windsor Castle, unless that is ruled illegal.
   
• The royals don't have the power to do as they like anymore. Nearly 500 years ago (1533), the English King (Henry VIII) not only divorced and remarried but broke with the Catholic Church in the process (for refusing to grant a divorce) AND made himself the head of a new church (Church of England). 
  
  
• The queen is all bent out of shape about the state of affairs relating to Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles. She does not plan to attend the wedding, whatever it's called. However, she will deign to attend a "service of blessing." She also agreed to sport (in other words, pay) for the party/reception.
  
  
• At least one cleric, the Rev. Paul Williamson of Feltham, Middlesex, is so horrified by the sinfulness of the union plans that he plans to attend--and make a scene.
  
  
• There are rumbles afoot that all this conflict could provoke disestablishment, meaning a divorce between the state and the Church of England. One suspects that if Henry VIII were still around, heads would roll. 
  
  
• Britain is a part of the European Union. The European Charter on Human Rights gives adults the right to marry anyone they choose. This creates more problems, given the Blair government's opposition to gay rights. 

So, given all this, what's the wellness perspective? 

Here's my take, based on a strong attachment to individual rights, separation of church and state and the quaint idea that all men (and women) are created equal in terms of their rights to pursue life, liberty and happiness. If the British people were to suddenly come to their senses, they would eliminate all nonsense about royalty and run the Queen and the rest of the royals out of their palaces, make them pay taxes and do away with titles and special privileges based on royal bloodlines. As Mark Twain hints in Huck Finn, "All kings is mostly rapscallions. " The whole business of royalty is near-total insanity. Next, everyone attached to the jejune notion of the "sanctity of marriage" ought to back off and let Charles and Camilla do what they like, provided they use their own money to do it. Finally, at least for now, get rid of that ludicrous connection between the Church of England and the nation of England. No civilized nation has any business messing with religion in an official capacity. It is the epitome of "low level worseness," which of course is the opposite of "high level wellness." 

I hope the Queen, Tony Blair, Charles, Camilla and many other Brits read this and start acting sensibly, and that these changes are implemented forthwith. 

Be well, and always look on the bright side of life.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of humor. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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