don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

As a nation, we managed somehow to get even fatter, despite the fact that anti-carbohydrate mania worsened to the point where the average American would rather shoot heroin than eat a bagel.
 
Dave Barry, "Year in Review," Miami Herald, December 26, 2004

Well, the year just ended and everyone, including Dave Barry, took stock, and ruminated about what went well and what didn't. This enables pundits and keyboard warriors to better sense what works and what doesn't. In that spirit, I thought about the 52 essays written last year and wondered, "Which of those essays changed the world?" If the answer, alas, is "none," was it because the essays were too long? 
 
Visitor Jeff Haebig of Rochester, MN may or may not think the world would be changed if the essays had been shorter. He definitely thinks they should be shorter. He suggested so earlier this week:

Since you have mastered the art of essay writing (as well as enduring triathlons), why not do a complete change in 2005 -- write no article over 200 words (150 words would be better), along with a five to fifteen word quote that summons people to take action. You probably will spend twice (five times?) the time consolidating poignant ideas into short 'inciteful' pieces. Think about it -- People in general are information weary, and like me, are reluctant readers. Are you willing to suck it in -- and shift from essayist to sayist (?). Remember, shift happens. Change is inevitable, except from vending machine. Your most ardent readers will welcome the change -- brevity rules. Don, you already have written the articles -- those are archived for ambitious readers. Now pick your favorites and compose short vignettes that pique interest and lead people to action. Your quote will catch their fancy. You don't knead consensus -- just dough it.

Feelings wounded, I protested. I advised Dr. Haber that while we seem to elect presidents this way, I did not want to write bumper sticker-like wellness essays! Yet, I realized he's probably right. I do go on. So, I asked a few advisors* for their opinions on the matter. Here they are:
 
*  Carol Martin: Don -- Short is sweet! As Henri Frederic Amiel noted, "Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind."  Or, as Mary Wortley Montagu suggests, "Life is too short for a long story." Not yet convinced? Consider the wisdom of Miguel de Cervantes: "A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience." In closing, I offer Sophocles and Tom Stoppard, respectively: "A short saying often contains much wisdom" and "Good things, when short, are twice as good. My recommendation would be to shorten the weekly E-AWR and lengthen the quarterly AWR!" 

* Lenore Howe: Hi Don -- A teacher of mine suggested the 100-word rule. Whenever I assume that a piece of my writing is ready for distribution, I spend however long it takes to cut 100 words out of it. The end result is pretty much always a better-written piece. I'm not sure how this relates to bumper sticker wellness but I agree with Carol that short is sweet. Perhaps the challenge is to write and publish a one sentence summary of every DR you write. Run it as the first paragraph. See if your feedback increases in volume as a result.

* Wendy Shore: Good quotes, Carol. I think Carol's idea of shortening the weekly and lengthening the quarterly is wonderful. As much as I enjoy reading your weekly thoughts, Don, the sheer volume is off-putting for those of us who have many other things to read and do each day. The end result, I fear, is that many people put it aside for " later"- which, as we all know, rarely comes. If you really want to have your thoughts read and enjoyed, it is might be wise to practice a bit of self-discipline: Edit. Re - edit. Set a word limit, and try to stick to it. It does not need to fit on a bumper sticker, but shorter would be better. On the other hand, the paper is a delight to leisurely peruse, and is perfect for reading in bits, over a longer period of time. So add some stuff to that, even elaborate on some of the short weekly stuff. Yay, Carol!  Once again, source of a brilliant idea!

* Bob Ludlow:  You're asking a guy who scorns and ridicules superficiality, listens to NO NEWS on network TV, regularly listens to NPR, and reads the New York Times and Washington Post. I'm a guy who likes most of his information IN-DEPTH (sometimes, alas, out of his depth). The essays of yours that I appreciate most are the ones that provide me with understandings and insights I did not have before I read them or else effectively reinforce something I already know or believe. I also appreciate your pitiful attempts at humor most of the time. :~) You know, it takes only a couple of minutes to read one of your essays, so I don't know what all the fuss is about. I appreciate your style, and I am basically happy with how you're doing things now. But if you're determined to try to follow the advice of your other three advisors, I offer not one, but two, options (for which I expect to be well paid):

Option 1: Each time you write an essay, keep in mind the virtue of brevity and strive for it. One way to do this is to determine what the goal of your essay is and then make sure everything you write contributes to achieving that goal; make your points as succinctly as possible without leaving out anything important or essential. Provide references for those of us who might want to follow up in greater depth. And do this without sacrificing your famous wry wit.
 
Option 2: Satisfy everyone. Write a pithy abstract with a link to the full article! (I expect to receive "The Wisdom of Solomon Award" for this one.)
There.

The Earl of Chesterfield said, "Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least." I disagree on all counts, at least in this case. The advice from Jeff, Carol, Lenore, Wendy and Bob is welcome. What's more, I wanted it and I appreciate it.

Here's what I'm going to do, at least throughout 2005 until the next "year in review" essay in late December, when I'll again reassess: I'm going to satisfy everyone! As soon as I mail Bob's "Wisdom of Solomon Award," I'll add a pithy abstract to the full article already composed for next week. The subject is the CDC's 2004 ranking of 50 states from the healthiest to the least healthy. 

Be well. Always look on the bright side of life.

*  About the advisors: 
 
Jeff H. is a brain expert whose latest book of "Care-toons" will be ready in a few months.  For info, visit Jeff's website at www.BrainBoogie.com
 
Carol M. is a star triathlete and purveyor of products that enable companies to hire the right people for specialized jobs (sales, for example). For info, contact Carol at cmartin@omniagroup.com
 
Lenore H. is webmistress of SeekWellness.com and consultant to Fortune 500 companies on smart web design and publishing. See www.wellnesspartnersllc.com.
 
Wendy S. is a Ph.D. research scientist at Johns Hopkins University Hospital in MD, investigating the benefits of exercise. She is also a top triathlete and member of Team USA. More about Wendy is available at
 
Bob L is a world-class photographer and writer. Examples of his photography can be viewed online at http://www.wncartists.com/photo/Robert_Ludlow/index.htm.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of factual knowledge. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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