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Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)
A Public Service Message for Alternative Medicine Enthusiasts Concerned About The Flu Vaccine Shortage
A CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) press release on November 9 announced a plan for the distribution of 10.3 million flu shots (specifically, the Aventis Pasteur influenza vaccine) to state health departments nationwide. The plan focuses on vulnerable citizens, those at highest risk for complications from influenza. Distribution priorities are based on:
- the number of high-priority individuals in the state,
- the number of doses the state has already received and
- the state's unmet needs.
Given the scarcity of this year's vaccine, it seems more important than ever to live wisely and well, in order to maintain a strong immune level to ward off the highly contagious respiratory illnesses that can be unleashed by influenza viruses. Be aware that the flu spreads in respiratory droplets from coughing and sneezing. It usually spreads from person to person, though you could become infected by touching something with The Evil Virus on it and then picking your nose or sucking your thumb. Don't do these things--they look moronic and are hazardous to your health. Of course, as a wellness enthusiast, you know that it is important to do RIGHTEOUS deeds because they are positive and enjoyable, not just avoid DESTRUCTIVE things because they are hazardous.
Thus, you want to be resolute about engaging in a wide range of sensible habits, such as exercising vigorously each day and eating right! Walk for at least one hour a day, or go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.Make sure you get a daily dose of a least five fruits and veggies. Get plenty of DBRU's and bump up your vitamin C intake, preferably from foods. Take in lots of fresh air--open windows, whenever possible. Indulge yourself with plenty of rest. Eliminate as much negative stress from your life as you can. You know all that. However, the CDC adds these precautions:
- Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze--throw the tissue away after you use it.
- Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. If you are not near water, use an alcohol-based hand cleaner.
- Stay away as much as you can from people who are sick.
- If you get the flu, stay home from work or school. If you are sick, do not go near other people so that you don't make them sick too.
- Try not to touch your eyes, nose, or mouth. Germs often spread this way.
- Get a flu vaccine shot each fall.
This, of course, won't be easy or even possible if you are not in a high-risk group or well connected!
Having said all that, let me acknowledge that some people just love to try alternative remedies, so in order to include everybody, here is an alternative wellness approach for avoiding the flu. This is an approach that seems to be popular already with a great many Americans. In a way, some of these alternative flu avoidance elements sound like they originated with doctors, but I don't know about that. Think about it--when you go a doctor for a shot, what does the physician do? She cleans your arm with alcohol. Why? Because alcohol kills germs! Thus, the alternative approach: Walk to the liquor store (exercise), add a lime in your Corona (fruit), put a celery stick in a Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get drunk, tell jokes, laugh (eliminates stress), then pass out (rest). If you keep your alcohol levels up, the flu virus can't touch you!
Another element of a healthy lifestyle is knowing when someone is having you on, or just kidding.
Be well, and always look on the bright side of life.
Domain: purposeSubdomain: humor
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