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by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Don't Confuse Goals and Dreams When Shaping A Healthier, Wellness-Oriented Lifestyle
Thursday March 11, 2004

The other day, a friend asked my opinion about a wellness questionnaire. My friend teaches classes at a southern university, coaches swimming and is highly regarded as a champion athlete. She was asked by wellness managers at the University of Kentucky to appear in a documentary about one aspect of living well, namely, achieving success. The wellness leaders at UK sponsor a conference each year, and the theme for the coming event on May 13, 2004 is "Dreams & Dimensions." My friend was asked to speak about her dreams and the questionnaire was designed to elicit information along these lines.
 
I know what dreams and dimensions are, but when I looked at the UK questionnaire, I could not be sure what the sponsors of the video had in mind regarding wellness dimensions. Perhaps their idea of wellness dimensions is similar to the physical, mental and meaning and purpose dimensions and attendant skill areas described at this website. However, this is not at all clear in the questionnaire sent to those who will participate in the video, which the organizers said was designed to dramatize the dynamics of "achieving dreams." Here is the set of questions that will be put to all interviewees during taping of the UK wellness program documentary. 

  • What is your definition of a dream?
  • Tell me about a dream that has come true for you. What planted the seed of the dream and what steps did you take to actualize your dream?
  • How did you feel when your dream came true?
  •  Are you working toward a dream right now?
  • Have you been able to help fulfill the dreams of others?
  • Why do you feel dreams are important?
  • Have you ever fallen short of realizing a dream? What happened? What did you learn from it?  

I think it's important not to confuse goals with dreams. Goals are specific and consciously chosen. Dreams are a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep. The latter can rouse you from a deep sleep, perspiring and terrified, breathless and weak all over.  Dreams can and do sometimes create feelings of serenity, calm--a state of total fulfillment until, unfortunately, you realize you were only dreaming. Most often, dreams are random images that make little sense, except for those who want to read something into their dreams. Either way, dreams rarely lead to a better life, whereas goals set and realized often do exactly that.
 
After reviewing the UK list of questions, I advised my friend to use this occasion to urge wellness seekers in Kentucky to think critically and use language judiciously. Wellness is not about chasing dreams, or at least should not be so promoted, in my opinion. Dreams are unconscious and random, a consequence of feelings oftentimes barely perceived--they are mysterious. The literature on dreams is extensive; the authors of texts, studies and expositions on the nature of dreams are not health educators but psychiatrists and other medical personnel. Dreams are NOT a suitable substitute for goal setting, for visions and for high hopes married to a plan of action.

I awoke from a dream this morning, and was able to describe some of the images from it to my partner before all memories of the dream faded away. The dream had me calling out the number of eggs that coeds had produced while perched atop telephone poles with huge, circular nests of straw. Ten or so part-time students (all males) were in the nests (the nests were no longer occupied by the egg-laying coeds), holding up cards and calling out the numbers of eggs in each nest. The counts were in the thousands per nest. Other images I recalled from this dream included the fact that the head counter coordinating the tally was my chief mate from Australia, Grant Donovan, and that I was the owner of a condo on campus that was, in fact, a set of offices converted to living spaces. Many students were walking into and around my condo who had no business there, due to the fact that I could not get the authorities to close off a gate that led to my unit. I don't recall being distressed about any of this during the dream, though I was interested in more privacy at times. I relate this dream only to underscore the weird, irrational, illogical and yes, meaningless nature of dreams, particularly as compared with a conscious goal-setting process. 
 
With that understanding as a preface, here are my suggested responses to the questions. I sent these suggestions to my friend in Kentucky who diplomatically said something like, "Thanks, your ideas are kind of interesting!" I hope you think so, too.

  • What is your definition of a dream? 
     
    I think a dream is nothing more than a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep. This is different from a plan, goal, conscious strategy or vision to realize, over time, a worthy outcome, such as an heroic act accomplished as part of a wellness lifestyle. 
  • Tell me about a dream that has come true for you. What planted the seed of the dream and what steps did you take to actualize your dream? 
     
    Dreams are too little recalled to know if and when they come to pass or are experienced. The seeds or origins of goals can be behaviors that one sees modeled by others. However, the origins are widespread/varied for most of us. An eight-step process for goal realization is described in my book 14 DAYS TO WELLNESS. 
  • How did you feel when your dream came true?  
     
    When goals are realized, it feels great, of course. Then it's time to revisit/revise the goal and/or create a few others. 

  • Are you working toward a dream right now? 
     
    Quite a few. The innumerable impressions experienced partially, usually unconsciously during the day, become the stuff of dreams at night--at least for those of us on the day shift. 

  • Have you been able to help fulfill the dreams of others?
     
    I don't take my own or others dreams seriously. My full time occupation (besides having a nice time, trying to do good work, seeking added meaning and purpose, and so on) is helping people set and realize the basic goal of a healthier, more enjoyable and rational lifestyle. 

  •  Why do you feel dreams are important? 
     
    I don't, as described above. 

  • Have you ever fallen short of realizing a dream? What happened? What did you learn from it?
     
    Again, if the question is about goals, not dreams, the answer obviously is "of course."  This is true for me and for everyone. What happened depends upon which goal. My usual experience is to draw lessons from coming up short.

Well, that's MY take on the UK questionnaire. What are YOUR thoughts about dreams versus goals, and how would YOU answer the kind of questions put by the wellness folks making the video for the conference this summer at UK? Thinking about these questions can have the salutary effects of sharpening your understanding of wellness terms and, whether you want to call the process dreaming or goal-setting (or something else), seeking to realize successes in life through deliberate action over time.
 
Be well. Look on the bright side and enjoy your dreams--just don't take them too seriously.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of mental health. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)



(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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