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by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.
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Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

A Four-Part Speech Designed to Knock Their Socks Off!

Thursday January 8, 2004

Next week, I'm giving a talk in Richmond, Virginia. A lot of people get nervous at the prospect of public speaking, but I enjoy it.

Ever wonder what makes for a terrific speech? I read somewhere about a formula for preparing a speech based on predictable audience reactions, no matter the topic, group, location, time of day/year or anything else. The recommended formula suggests organizing a talk to respond to four universal audience reactions, as follows:

1. Ho Hum!
2. Why bring that up? 
3. For instance! 
4. So what?

For a speaker to succeed, he/she must address these audience reactions. For example, the first step (to meet the "Ho Hum!" challenge) is to START A FIRE. This means "kindle a quick flame of spontaneous interest" in the first sentence out of your mouth. Do NOT let them sustain the "ho hum" response once you begin. They may be bored by the time you arrive, but put a stop to it the instant you begin speaking.

I like this part of the formula. What's more, I plan to begin with this in mind. If any of the Tuckahoo ladies is feeling "Ho Hum" when I reach the podium, I plan to give her an attitude adjustment with my big opening. Want to know what it is? I know you do, so imagine you are a member of the Tuckahoo Women's Club, and you are sitting in an elegant country club auditorium, awaiting for my first words.)

Most of you would rather die than pose naked in front of this room. Am I right about this? How many, given the choice of death or nudity, would choose death? What's so awful about standing nekked before the Tuckahoo Women's Club, besides the fact that it's probably illegal, immoral, indecent and inappropriate?

Let me guess what you assume is so awful about standing nekked in front of the Tuckahoo ladies association. You would be worried that SOME Club members might be a little judgmental. They might think your buns are too big, or you sag in some places, or for some odd reason you're worried that you simply would not look dignified in the buff! Am I right about this?

That is my response to the "Ho Hum" part of the great speech formula. How am I doing so far?

The second part of the formula calls for a response to the question, "Why bring that up?" Here, the need is to build a bridge. The formula assumes all listeners live on an island of their own interests. Yes, I probably will have their attention with my risqué opening. Now I have to justify it and respond to the next question on everyone's mind, namely, "why did I bring that up? How's this:

I bring this up because anyone who would choose death before doing a Full Monty in front of her Tuckahoo sisters needs to hear my speech today! You may never have to choose between nudity and death, but there are other, more applicable benefits from considering the issues raised by this question.

For starters, my remarks today might motivate you to decide to take fitness a bit more seriously. While you probably will never want to go naked in public, you may want to develop a level of fitness that you can be proud of, at any age. But, fitness is just the start of things that really matter. I have a larger agenda for you this afternoon. I needed first to get your attention. I also needed to assess the chances that you would be active participants in this presentation. ARE you willing to become involved in this talk?

Good, because before moving on, I need to do another quick check, just so I am fully in touch with the audience, which of course is the first thing they teach us in "How To Give Great Speeches" school.

Are there any ladies who want to come up here at this time to perform a Full Monty? Just kidding.

Now you have heard parts one and two of the formula I plan to apply next week. I'm going to talk about personal wellness and then outline the nature of something I call "rational social wellness."

The third and fourth parts of the great speech formula call for getting down to cases/specifics (in other words, the "For instance!" part of the formula) and extending a call to action (the "So What?" part). What do you think? Does it sound promising?

By the way, before I launch into the third and fourth parts, there is one more aspect of an effective speech I want to adopt on this occasion, namely, to be explicit about what I hope to accomplish. Here is what I plan to say next.

I have four purposes today. My purposes are to inform, entertain, to affect your life in some modest way and to prod and provoke you. Sound good? 

1. INFORM. It's easy to inform. All I have to do is summarize a bit of data, give you a few facts and mention several trends related to my topic and voila, you are informed. About 35 percent of my talk is devoted to informing you about how to shape AND how to sustain a healthy lifestyle.
   
2. ENTERTAIN. It's a little harder to entertain. Humor is a double-edged sword. What's amusing to some is offensive or disgusting to others. If I delight 95 percent of you but infuriate 5 percent, guess which group will provide the most feedback to me, their Congresspersons, newspapers, TV stations and anyone else they can influence, including those who decide who gets elected to the Speakers Hall of Fame? Right--the five percent who think of me as The Great Satan. Nevertheless, about 40 percent of my talk is designed to entertain you. Hey, it's more fun to live dangerously, sometimes and, in this case, the payoffs of a useful speech are much greater.
   
3. AFFECT YOUR PHILOSOPHY. This is the biggie. Few speakers dare to attempt such a thing. For most speakers, such a quest is either off-limits or preposterously unlikely. Enough to inform and entertain. The exceptions might include evangelists who want your soul as well as generous donations, or a mentor you encounter at just the right time when you're ready for a teachable moment. About one-tenth of one percent of my talk is designed to affect your philosophy. That may not sound like much, but in fact it's huge. Some of you, like me, have had more than half a century to build up, edit and continually revise a philosophy, meaning a sense of who you are, why you're here and what it's all about, what really matters and the like. To affect a tenth of a percent of all that is wildly ambitious but--I'm going to go for it.
   
4. PROD AND PROVOKE. This takes chutzpah, nerves of steel, bravado and a brass pair of, well, never mind--you get the idea. It also helps if you don't live around here--and can get out of town fast after the speech. About 25 percent of my talk is devoted to prodding and provoking. Only by taking such high risks attendant upon venturing into troubled waters of controversial topics can I hope to affect your philosophy at the ambitious one-tenth of one percent level.

This requires your consent. Rather than be passive, you have to participate in the presentation. Are you willing to become involved, take chances, be prodded/poked and provoked?

If you are nervous about it, do a worst case scenario. What's the worst that can happen? This might relieve the stress associated with taking a stand, raising your hand, coming up in front of the room, disclosing your innermost secrets and so on.

Well, there you have it, the start of my speech next week to the Tuckahoo ladies. I can't wait to deliver these remarks. The only concern I have is that one or more of the women might call my bluff and hop up on stage and strip before I can talk them out of it. I think I need to work on a contingency plan in case these gals are a lot less conservative and stuffy than I've been told to expect.

All the best. Be well and look on the bright side of life.

Domain: purpose
Subdomain: humor

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