don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

"Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up."
Hosea 13:16

As a wellness promoter, I am often asked by my fellow Americans, "Don, how can I stop being a total lunatic?" That isn't true--I just wanted to get your attention. As a wellness promoter, the question I would welcome but never hear is this, "What is the most effective single thing I could do to lower my stress level, enjoy life more, become healthier and never act like a total lunatic?" My answer is always the same, or would be if I were repeatedly asked this question, "Adopt a wellness perspective."

The need for a wellness perspective that would assure low stress, high satisfaction, good health and immunity to behaving like a total lunatic can be seen on any given day, simply by scanning the news or watching a bit of television. Two recent instances provide cases in point.

The first occurred during the next-to-last game of the National League series between the Chicago Cubs and the Florida Marlins when a fan reached up to catch a fly ball--and in an instant became a household word, but not the kind of word most upstanding folk would want to use around refined ladies or innocent children.

Can you believe the way lunatic Chicago Cub fans reacted when an unfortunate fan had the nerve to reach for a foul ball, as 99.9 percent of humans given the chance have done since the beginning of time or at least from the Middle Jurassic era when baseball became the national pastime for homo sapiens who speak English or Spanish? The poor guy is now in a witness protection program because dim bulbs in Chicago blame him, rather than acknowledging that this was surely an act of god (proving HE has a sense of humor), for the fact that the Cubbies will not get to lose to the Yankees in the World Series. I'm afraid that Steve Bartman (the whole world now knows his name) will have to get a new identity before accepting season tickets from Florida Marlin fans for next year's games. The reaction of Cub fans reminded me of my favorite passage from the bible, quoted above, which fundamentalist Christians consider the literal word of a loving god.

(I wonder if Steve finally retrieved the ball for all his troubles? It looked like he dropped it, as Cub outfielder Manny Alou might have done, if given the chance.)

A lack of perspective explains why Steve has been the target of epithets, beer and debris, why his picture is on "Wanted--Dead or Alive" posters outside Wrigley Field and why his own father refused to confirm that he was related to him. As Mike Lopresti, a writer with the Gannett News Service wrote on Indystar.com October 16, "Bartman did not boot a ground ball that might have ended the inning. Alex Gonzalez did. He did not throw hittable pitches that were slammed into the reaches of the outfield. Mark Prior and Kyle Farnsworth did." Even Manny Alou, the Cubs player involved, showed better sense than the fans: "Fans don't go to school to learn what balls to touch and what balls not to touch. Unfortunately, the guy got excited. I was real upset at first, but now I feel bad for the guy." Credit Alou for demonstrating admirable compassion.

The second case illuminating the value of a wellness perspective for purposes of low stress, high satisfaction, good health and immunity to behaving like a total lunatic involves Rush Limbaugh, himself a total lunatic. Anyone who has the kind of wellness perspective of which I write will show a bit of compassion, empathy and love for his fellow man and not point out what a hypocrite this man is, like so many right-wing religious zealots. Yet, in this case, I lack a wellness perspective.

Yes, it is possible to BE a wellness promoter and still have some work to do! (I assume this little shortcoming will give hope and comfort to others.)

Rush has always been a real "lock em up and throw away the key" kind of guy on drug use/abuse. Now he has been outed as a bit of a druggie himself. This is the same guy who applauds the fact that 400,000 Americans have gone to prison for doing what he did. As one commentator noted, "If this pill-popping pontificator deserves a get-out-of-jail-free card, the drug dealing warrior/politicians ought to explain why." (Source: News from the Libertarian Party, October 16, 2003.) Many, like the Libertarians, must be wondering why:

• President George Bush or his tough-on-crime attorney general, John Ashcroft, has not uttered a word criticizing Limbaugh's law-breaking?
• Former drug czar Barry McCaffrey has not lambasted Limbaugh as a menace to society and a threat to "our children?"
• Federal DEA agents have not stormed Limbaugh's $30 million Florida mansion in a frantic search for criminal evidence?
• Federal, state, and local police agencies have not seized the celebrity's homes and luxury cars under asset-forfeiture laws?
• Gambling-addicted blabbermouth William Bennett has not publicly explained how America would be better off if Limbaugh were prosecuted, locked in a steel cage and forced to abandon his wife, his friends, and his career?

The reason, according to Libertarian Party executive director Joe Seehusen who crafted this list of questions, is this: "America's drug warriors are shameless hypocrites who believe in one standard of justice for ordinary Americans and another for themselves, their families and their political allies. That alone should completely discredit them."

Well, as noted, that's a little harsh, even though I agree with it. Let's all work together to be sweeter, more loving, more forgiving and nicer. Let's adopt a wellness perspective so that when someone messes around with a fly ball or is shown to be addicted to drugs or whatever, we choose compassion, empathy and love and avoid maniacal rage (for example, see Chicago Cub fans) or a wicked delight (for example, see Limbaugh, hypocrite exposed.) If we do this, we can all enjoy low stress, high satisfaction, good health and immunity to behaving (or just thinking) like total lunatics.

Be well and look on the bright side.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of humor. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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