don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Recently I had the great satisfaction of mailing the 65th edition of the Ardell Wellness Report (AWR) to subscribers worldwide. The Report has been sent out every three months since 1984. Imagine that -- 65 issues! I'm amused to recall how, after the first issue was released, I wondered if I would have enough opinions for a second edition. Nearly two decades later, I wonder instead if I'll live long enough to publish the 100th edition! I'm planning on it.

Speaking of all those opinions, I'd like to think that I have not been guilty of dispensing any "petrified opinions" (recalling Twain's remark about "the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.) Instead, I prefer to think I changed my opinions as necessary, without fear of being inconsistent, in the spirit of Daniel Webster's idea that "inconsistencies of opinions, arising from changes of circumstances, are often justifiable."

In Volume 1, January 1984, this introduction appeared on the first page of the inaugural edition in an article entitled "Why A Wellness Report?"

Welcome to the premier edition of my little Report. The first question to address is, naturally, why a personal Report? Let me count the reasons.

I want to try yet another approach to reach the legions of "unnecessarily unwell" who unfortunately for them and for me have not read my books or heard my speeches, gone to wellness conventions or seminars, or otherwise encountered yours truly or the wellness message.

I want to win friends and influence people by regularly telling a part of the world my opinions on a variety of wellness-related matters. No, I am not going to ask, "Who cares?" Well, at least not right away.

I want to distribute bits of wellness gossip and advice, thereby becoming the "Dear Abby" of wellness. You have wellness problems? Write to me!

I want to invite and receive feedback on a variety of issues in this field.

I want to help members of the growing wellness network better track and stay in touch with each other. The Report will tell of selected adventures (and misadventures) of my buddies, as well as those of yours truly.

I want to continue to have fun in making a career out of the promotion of wellness.

I want to get the most out of my new toy: a KayPro personal computer. No, this is not a paid commercial endorsement. (But I'll entertain offers.)

Alas, there were no offers from KayPro, and I have since gone through half a dozen computers and KayPro has gone out of business. This proves they should have supported me.

Almost halfway to the current 65th edition, I wrote this opening for the 30th edition, which came out about nine years ago.

This is AWR # 30! Can-you-believe-it? Does this make me the most prolific wellness writer in the history of the planet? Can I become a celebrity doing this? Is the country better off at this point near the end of 1992 than it was when the first edition came out in 1984? If so, is it because of the Ardell Wellness Report? These are tough questions. You decide.

But, if you will forgive a burst of modest immodesty, I do have one claim to fame. As a consequence of these 30 issues, I have caused to be added one word (worseness) and several acronyms to the English language, namely MOL (meaning of life), DBRU equivalents (see article in this edition), ODWOW's (obviously deranged worseness-oriented wackos), BNWW (brave new way to wellness) and, coming soon to a theater near you, THE WO (wellness orgasm)!

I'm going to learn from my experience with the historic first and thirtieth editions and not write anything for this (historic?) edition that I might end up quoting thirty issues or ten years from now.

If you would like to enjoy the 65th edition (on the theme of "Don't Be Normal") or some other issue for that matter, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to Ardell Wellness Report, 3301 Bayshore Blvd., #802, Tampa, FL 33629.

Stay well and look on the bright side of life.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of play. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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