don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal entitled "Being Overweight May Increase Risk for Alzheimer's in Women" (July 14, 2003) described the latest research concerning links between obesity and one more dread disease. While the study results suggested "a striking relationship between being overweight at age 70 and developing the mind-robbing dementia 10 to 18 years later," I had to wonder: How many 80 to 88 year-olds are going to be a bit demented in any case, no matter what they weigh? Also, how come I was not surprised when the Alzheimer's Association suggested that more research should be done? I don't wish to be too critical about this particular study, but the investigators more or less admitted that one reason that found only very old overweight women at greater risk for Alzheimer's and not men is that there were few men in the sample. I mean, come on -- how many overweight 88 year-old men, or women, are out there?

There are many terrific reasons to do something constructive about weight management at any age -- avoiding an added risk of dementia at age 80 to 88 is probably not at the top of the list!

The head of the Alzheimer Association said, "Anything that's associated with Alzheimer's disease is worth looking at further; it's a horrible disease, maybe the most horrible age-related disease." Well, that is true enough, but if all else fails, there is always humor to fall back on, after efforts have been made to lose weight and all that. Humor is powerful good medicine and, while it can't prevent or cure disease, it can be an effective diversionary tactic that distracts from grim reality, at least for a spell.

We are all fated to suffer the diminution of body and mind associated with aging no matter what we weigh and, soon enough, death no matter how many miles we jog, fruits and veggies we eat, DBRU equivalents we experience, meaning and purpose we adopt or how serene we become. The range of WSMS (weapons of serious mass destruction) and the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that Time employs know no bounds. While there is nothing funny about Alzheimer's or its milder forms that I myself suffer occasionally ("Sometimers" and even "Oftentimers", for instance), that is no reason not to laugh at the disease, or at Osama bin Time or death, itself. So, try to have a little fun along the way.

Here is a story that plays on the reality of one of Alzheimer's milder variants, namely, "Sometimers." Consider it a humor tale of the week or, if you prefer, the humor tale for the weak-minded!"

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes, Yes, I will." The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall -- not even a faint memory.

With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?" He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."

Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."

As C.W. Metcalf once observed, "Humor skills are important for people over 5 and under pressure.

Be well, look after yourself and ALOTBSOL, that is, always look on the bright side of life. If that seems difficult, visit a remote area, such as rural Maine or North Dakota, go out at night and look up. You will see a luminous realm visible to the earliest hominids -- and the dinosaurs long before them. You, too, will see thousands of stars without the need for a telescope. They will twinkle, twinkle in hues of red, blue and yellow-white. You will see the Milky Way cut a swath of faint cloud-like mist from one end of the horizon to the other. You might feel a bit or a lot of awe, maybe even a mysterious reverence at the wonder of it all. Then, recall that what you are seeing is a fragment of what is out there -- a cosmos vast beyond imagination or belief. Now you can look on the bright side, at all that's out there and yet, somehow, here you are, a moment in time when life is yours, to make of it what you will, this and as many days as you can manage.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of humor. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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