don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Bring me honey of Hymettus, bring me stories of Attic salt; I am weary of the commonplace, to dullness call a halt! These dinner speeches tire me, they are tedious, flat and stale; From a hundred thousand banquet tables comes a melancholy wail, As a hundred thousand banqueters sit up in evening dress And salute each mouldy chestnut with a signal of distress.

Isaac Hill Bromley, "Our Chauncey," 1877

I have a modest attention span to begin with, but when confronted by a dull speaker, it's all I can do to remain awake, let alone pay attention. For this reason, I have always tried to be interesting when invited to the podium to expound on matters relating to wellness or self-management for lifestyle artistry. Late last week, I was in the Philadelphia area (Newark, DE) to speak to health educators about "behavior change." As usual, I was determined not to tire the audience, not to be flat or stale and to do all I could to prevent melancholy wails or other signals of distress. Lacking honey from Hymettus or stories of Attic salt, I was determined to LOOK interesting, to capture their attention from the get-go and to start off with a flourish and go from there with great material. In the latest DR on Friday, I promised to summarize the latter, that is, to outline the numerous (seven, actually) propositions I offered for discussion in order to stimulate the audience to consider new strategies for SUSTAINED behavior change.

Although I promised to do this today, I changed my mind! Instead of outlining these propositions, I want to tell you about my grand entrance last week, an opening act I designed for boredom avoidance. Tomorrow I'll review the seven propositions. I promise.

Believe it or not, I appeared in a burka! After my introduction, I arrived burka-clad (accompanied by suitable music) from stage left, as audience members looked on, to considerable applause and amusement. (Whether the applause and laughter was mixed with expressions of horror, delight, fascination or something else I really couldn't tell, as it's difficult enough to find the podium behind the veil of a burka, let alone assess audience reactions.) In any event, it was clear from the start that I was not boring them -- at least not yet!

My first words were, "My purpose this afternoon is to make connections between freedom and wellness. I want you to cast off your burkas!" I then advanced the slide of my Power Point Presentation from the title picture announcing the details of the occasion (my name, speech title, date and so on) to a dramatic, colorful photo of a burka-wearer's face, below which were the words, "Cast off your burkas." Then I added, "I know. You say, 'I don't HAVE any burkas!' Well, maybe you do. I'll explain."

I believe there are times when you have to be bold, courageous and willing to risk in order to maintain your freedoms -- and in order to sustain wellness behaviors. One way to improve the odds that you WILL be bold, courageous and willing to take risks is to do weird things in public once in a while, like showing up for a lecture in a burka! As I said, my purpose is to make a connection between freedom and wellness -- and I say, once again, to all of you, "cast off your burkas!"

At this point, I removed my burka, under which all could see my second costume, which was a rather weird-looking "Uncle Sam Wellness" costume I designed myself. Then I added, "Of course, those of us in somewhat enlightened Western cultures cannot LITERALLY cast off a burka, since almost nobody would wear such a thing. Like myself, you probably think it's a monstrosity. Yet, in the interest of political correctness or sensitivity to those who might CHOOSE to wear one, I say, 'cast off your burkas in a metaphorical way.' However, once you do that (remove your real or metaphorical burka), you need to make an unequivocal statement of where you stand!"

At this point, I doffed a wig, sunglasses and a graduation cap and explained, "This is my 'Uncle Sam Wellness' persona. I hope you like it. I selected it for three reasons:

1. I heard women find a man in uniform irresistible.
2. I'm a Ph.D. and a scholar -- it's important to appear dignified.
3. The whole country has been having a giant wargasm lately, so I thought I'd get into the spirit of things.

I'm kidding, of course. The real reason for this outfit is that it sort of connects with my interest in promoting the Bill of Rights and other freedoms as a part of wellness. You see, my intent today is to suggest that an important part of 'real wellness' is to be fully free -- and that most of us have to work hard to be really free, that we have to guard against taking freedom of speech -- and other freedoms for granted.

Therefore, besides offering a good deal of panache and style, this outfit puts me in the mood to talk about wellness as a mindset that includes liberation from intimidation, intentional or otherwise. Such a mindset is, in my opinion, a health habit right up there in importance with exercise and sound nutrition, stress management and all the rest.

Do you agree?

Maybe you have opinions at odds with the majority. Or, maybe you ought to DEVELOP a few ideas at odds with the majority. Expressing such views, if they lead others to make better choices, could be a valuable contribution. However, you won't know about these untapped powers within your capability if you keep your best perspectives covered up, revealed only to yourself. For example, maybe you have a few somewhat subversive ideas at odds with convention, or different from those held on high by your family or at odds with the religious dogma of your culture, the prejudices of your friends or the conventions imposed by other influentials in your life.

Maybe, in some way, you could be FREER than you are now -- and weller in the sense of self management for lifestyle artistry, which is another of my topics today.

One of my heroes, Harry Browne, the author of How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World, holds that "freedom is the ability to live your life the way you want to live it." hat's the first sentence of his best-seller book, the title of which I just mentioned.

For this reason, in order to pursue wellness joyfully and with the greatest outcomes, begin by casting off any metaphorical burkas that might be inhibiting your best possible self! Prepare yourself so you will act boldly, courageously and with a willingness to do high-risk things, if necessary, to maintain your freedoms.

How can you prepare for such a thing? There are many pathways to wellness and freedom, but one that we all need to adopt is the proven method for earning the chance to play in Carnegie Hall -- practice, practice, practice!

For starters, I recommend you practice being a wild and crazy guy or gal, on occasions. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bit more practicing to do!"

At this point, I removed my Uncle Sam Wellness costume, thereby revealing my third outfit, a body suit with organs and veins shown in bold colors. Maybe you had to be there, but it did get a rise and a collective smile from the crowd which, since I was no longer looking out from being behind the veil of a burka, I could see clearly now.

I began at this point to wrap-up the introduction and put it all in context. "Well, I hope I have established a bit of credibility by doing what I encourage you to do, namely, practice! That is, I'm practicing for the time I might have to be unconventional to go against norms, customs and traditions that inhibit my ability to be as well as possible, including to live my life as I want to live it. That's a part of wellness, in my opinion. What do you think -- might I be on to something here?

Consider that, to be fully free and as well as possible, you might wish to do some weird things in public, once in a while. It will prepare you for Carnegie Hall, in a manner of speaking. That is, by being different now and then, you will build up your nerve and be more likely, if necessary, to act boldly, courageously and in a risk-taking fashion should doing so be required to remain truly free -- and you'll be in a better position to help others do likewise. My experience tells me it WILL be necessary.

By the way, I know you will be glad to hear me say that there are many other, no doubt better, ways to do this! You probably don't need a burka, an Uncle Same Wellness outfit or a body suit. Yet, it's up to you to decide what departures from the norm will work best in your case.

Did I pass the test -- or do I need to get even more weird? Did you figure out the symbolism of the three costumes?

1. Casting off the burka symbolizes boldness and courage.
2. Wearing an Uncle Sam Wellness outfit symbolizes freedom and wellness.
3. The body suit is to remind you, despite the focus on freedom -- and on mental health and meaning and purpose, we are still flesh and blood, that we only have one body...and just one life to lead. Carpe Diem.

And now, to distract you no more, allow me to become slightly more dignified -- and conventional."

At this point, I put on some regular clothes that I had stashed under the podium, and proceeded with my talk, segueing with an explanation of my basic point: "Most folks will NEVER achieve anything remotely like a wellness lifestyle -- unless we can get THEM to cast off THEIR metaphorical burkas. Given the quantity and variety of burka-like customs, beliefs and conditions out there, even in freedom-loving America, this will be a daunting task, to put it mildly. However, I have a few suggestions along these lines. Let me now tell you about them."

Tomorrow, I'll tell YOU about them, that is, I'll summarize the seven propositions I offered. I promise. Really -- tomorrow I'll deliver.

Meanwhile, be well and look on the bright side.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the PHYSICAL DOMAIN under the skill area of lifestyle habits. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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