don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you one thing . . . There's nothing wrong with your eyesight." (Humor found on the Internet)

As you learned long ago, life isn't fair and what's more, you might want to remind yourself of this fact every so often as part of being a self-managing lifestyle artist.

Even if you think pure thoughts, do good deeds, save the world time and again, and don't stray from a life of virtuous goodness of body, mind, and spirit you will almost surely end up sick or injured now and again. What's more, eventually (if you don't die young) you will grow infirm and die. Life is not (always) pretty. In other words, a time may come, if you live long enough, when you wake up some morning and your hair is all wiry and frazzled up, your skin is wrinkled and pasty, eyes blood-shot and bugging out and you have a corpse-like look on your face!

Therefore, an artful lifestyle must include, among a vast range of other skills, a mindset that prepares you for the eventuality of living for a while with chronic illness/pain and or not looking so good.

This kind of perspective is a no lose situation from the start, for even if you never experience chronic illness/pain before you die, you will be grateful it has not happened yet, until such time as you are dead and have no further worries about anything. Nobody, not even a self-managing model, remains well forever. Certain verities may be eternal but we're not.

Any given month, you might have noticed, is loaded with celebrations or at least times of special commemoration of a wide host of chronic illnesses that cause more than a little pain, such as diabetes or epilepsy. No harm in this, I suppose, but how come we don't give a bit of attention to something like "Self-Management Week?" Or, "Pleasure Month?" In fact, why not take a page from the Chinese and declare this the Year of the belly laugh or of the DBRU? What would be so wrong with that? Wouldn't it help, if only a little and for a short time, to get our minds off the unsettling reality of chronic illness and pain?

If nothing else, life should be filled with commemorations that distract from the aches, pains, and chronic illnesses in life. Let's be more imaginative -- let's devote more attention to the fact that optimal well-being in all dimensions, at best for the fortunate few, is possible for a while but only a while. All the better to encourage everyone to do the right thing, behavior-wise, while there is still time for excellence. Let's start immediately to build a capacity for humor and self-parody for the future, when it will be sorely needed due to the certain onset of one malady or another!

And, let's face it, we all have a chronic condition evident to others if not to ourselves from the moment of our birth, namely, that we are mortal. All sentient adults know this, of course, but we wisely don't obsess over it. Maybe we should ponder this fact more than we do, in order to be grateful daily for the gift of life and in part to put in perspective (and downgrade the attention we give to) the daily hassles, frustrations, chronic illnesses, and pains that are part of being alive.

How do you feel about your prospects to live well and joyfully, most of the time? To what degree do you feel responsible for your fate and life quality, given the fact of your mortality and the presence of chronic illness and pain now, or the certainty of it later? It should be clear that a self-managing lifestyle could be just as valuable at a time of chronic illness and pain as when in the flower of health and limitation-free youth.

Speaking of flowering youth, I am nearly sixty-five now and still flowering all over the place, but I surely do have pains daily, and not only because of aging or the advent of chronic illness and pain. No, my aches are largely a consequence of being a competitive endurance athlete who trains daily. I have recurring back troubles, hip pain, foot problems, a stiff neck and sore calves! Imagine what maladies I'd suffer if I were sedentary! Best of all, my hair is definitely not wiry and frazzled up, my skin is not wrinkled or pasty, my eyes are not blood-shot and they don't bug out all corpse-like, and my eyesight is just fine, thank you very much!

So, despite all these years, I manage to function cheerfully, more or less, without too many compromises. I train hard almost every day for running races and middle-distance triathlons. I accept chronic illness and pain as part of living.

My point? Only that a disorder, pain, or limitation is of less consequence than how you choose to view and deal with it, unless of course the disorder is something that is killing you in a hurry, like certain cancers, for example. Then the fact of the disorder is of more consequence, though even in this case, how you respond to it can make a difference in your emotional and psychological well being while you last.

In every case, it seems to me that a self-managing outlook entails a conscious awareness that you benefit from choosing how to deal with life situations that come about. With a mindset of personal responsibility, you are more likely to take initiatives to learn about tools and resources that can help with chronic illness and pain. With a commitment to enjoy life as much as possible and continue to pursue meaning and purpose, you are much more likely to continue to invest energy in exploring ways to manage the persistent aches and pains that millions of citizens experience -- at all stages of life. Therefore, it seems that best approach is to endure as gracefully as possible and seek to find something for which to be grateful, however implausible it may seem to others.

Take care, be as well as possible and always look on the bright side of life.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the PHYSICAL DOMAIN under the skill area of appearance and aging. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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