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by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.
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Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Which Is Worse: Offensive Billboards Or A Predisposition to Take Offense?

Tuesday March 4, 2003

Today is Election Day in Tampa. Nine months have passed since I declared as a candidate for mayor and began what the press would label a "quixotic" campaign. Quixotic is not so bad. The adjective's etymology traces to Don Quixote around 1815. It means "foolishly impractical, especially in the pursuit of ideals" as well as "marked by rash, lofty, romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous action." I'm not so sure about chivalrous but the rest sounds OK. Given other adjectives assigned to politicians, I think I got off lightly!

Looking back on it all, and thinking about the money (nearly two million total) spent by my rivals, maybe I did not REALLY want the job -- and thus was a little "quixotic" about the quest. Call me a modern man of La Mancha tilting at well city windmills. As for being mayor, there are good reasons NOT to want to be elected. For one thing, being mayor would be a serious challenge to my lifestyle. Besides, if I had really wanted it, I might have carried on more like a candidate. For example, I might have sought funds for ads, signs, pollsters, a campaign headquarters and a staff to organize phone banks, marches and that sort of thing. I might have knocked on 7000 doors, as others did. I might have backed off the doing of things I enjoy (training for triathlons, reading, writing Don's Reports, traveling, etc.) Yes, I definitely would have walked the streets of Tampa month after month, shaking hands in stores and restaurants, listening to the people and so on. I have done little to none of this. I have to admit -- maybe I did not really want to be mayor.

I wondered about this just a few days ago when I got an E-mail from a voter. It was sent to all the mayoral candidates. Check it out: "As a resident of Tampa and a registered voter, I would like to file a complaint regarding an inappropriate billboard that has been placed near the intersection of Armenia and Linebaugh. It is for a Men's Interactive Hotline for Gays. While I do not believe in infringing on the rights of people to do as they wish behind closed doors, I do have a problem with this billboard. It makes me ill every time I see it in my family-oriented neighborhood. What can be done to have this billboard removed?"

My response also suggests, in retrospect, that I must not have wanted to be mayor. People expect more tact in a politician. I wrote: "Hard to believe that there are people who want to prevent the dissemination of knowledge, in this case about a resource that could be invaluable for someone who needs support for problems associated with being gay or thinking he might be gay, etc. Glad to read that you 'do not believe in infringing on the rights of people to do as they wish behind closed doors.' That's a good start toward developing a democratic personality. You ought to seek counseling, particularly from a secular source with psychological expertise, if a billboard of this nature makes you ill. This is not a healthy reaction. The problem is not the billboard; the problem is your inappropriate reaction to it. Nothing should be done to have the billboard removed. Thanks for bringing your problem to my attention. I wish you well in dealing constructively with it and learning to be less judgmental, intolerant and narrow-minded. Tampa is and will remain a city populated by widely diverse characters. 'Live and let live' is the best policy, in my opinion."

I also recommended she vote for another candidate.

Thinking I might have been too hard on the billboard lady, I circulated this exchange for feedback. To my surprise, nobody thought I was too hard on her. Here are some reactions, starting with a friend named Steve Jonas:

"Hi. Great response. I would have also said something like: 'What do you think ought to be done about it? Are there other billboards you don't like? Do you think that gay folks who don't like religious symbolism should be able to have such, like crosses at the tops of Catholic Churches, taken down? Who do you think should be making such decisions? Why do you think that you look at the billboard every time you go by its location? What other interference with free enterprise (the free enterprise of the owner of the billboard renting the space) do you think there ought to be, and why?' "

Maybe Steve ought not to run for mayor, either.

Another reviewer (Lorraine Evans) offered this: "Wow, you do not mince words - and thank you for that. I can imagine all sorts of 'political' answers that most in public service would spew forth. You are to be truly commended for your clear thinking in a democracy. If only others would follow your lead, Tampa and the rest of the universe would be so much happier, well and truly better humans. Delighted with your unencumbered and forthright words. Am proud to know you."

Well, that would be two votes, if either lived in Tampa (neither does.) What do you think I might have advised? Always good to get feedback, even when not running for mayor -- which, by the way, I won't be doing after today! Be well -- look on the bright side of life.

Domain: mental
Subdomain: stress management

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