don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

The current #1 advice-giver, Dr. Phil McGraw, believes "People in America are sick to death of psychobabble and buzzwords such as co-dependent, dysfunctional and inner child. Most will never go to see a therapist and something like 90% never get past the first chapter of the self-help books they buy" (USA Today, 10/15/2002.) Dr. Phil wants people to stop whining and take responsibility for their lives. All this sounds pretty good to me.

I, too, am sick of psychobabble, buzzwords like dysfunctional and inner child and I have no intention of seeking therapy. (I do get past the first chapter of self-help books, however, usually in the bookstore before I buy them!) All that said, I want to note that Dr. Phil has made a great career giving snappy, "in-your-face" advice to those seeking help for problems regarding "sex, money, obesity, spoiled kids and frustrated moms, siblings, and other pairings." These essays or "Don's Reports" focus not only on problems but, more challenging, broad tips about how people can move from normalcy/mediocrity to regular experiences of joy and excellence -- a wellness way of life. So far, Dr. Phil and his mentor, Oprah, have not gotten around to this more positive orientation, perhaps because of the overwhelming public demand for voyeur therapy dealing with varied and multiple crises and, well, let's face it, dysfunctions!

Here we focus on wellness, and today's challenge in seeking wellness is not to be gullible. If you think Dr. Phil is going to solve your problems, you are gullible, and Dr. Phil would probably be the second person to tell you so, after me, if you could ask him. You have to create a mentality that resists gullibility. Stop whining and take responsibility! Of course, that's easier said than done.

An anti-gullibility mindset begins with a wellness lifestyle, that is, attention first to the primary elements of optimal health. Think of all the challenges that wellness requires first, then I'll address gullibility-resistance. For starters, here are a few wellness basics, or self-management fundamentals.

• You understand the importance of self-responsibility and look for ways to assume it at all times.
• You are physically fit.
• You follow sound nutritional principles.
• You manage stress well, think critically, adapt well to challenges and maintain positive health habits (for example, you avoid second-hand smoke as well as the original kind.)
• You are emotionally intelligent, have a good sense of humor, enjoy regular play and have the factual knowledge needed to be effective in varied areas, such as dealing with the medical system.
• You regularly find meaning, satisfaction and new purposes in your life and work.

All this is a fine foundation for wellness, and puts you well beyond the reach of those needing advice from TV therapists and entertainers like Dr. Phil. However, things get even better when you add this wellness skill -- a perspective that safeguards against gullibility. To do so, I advise a mindset characterized by "bemused skepticism!" If you get "weller" after that, people might get jealous or find you insufferable!

Not really. Instead, you will be able to further complement your growing body of talents and capacities as a lifestyle artist by adding bemused skepticism to your already formidable self-management repertoire!

What IS bemused skepticism? Bemused skepticism or BS is a quality that entails reserving judgment or a decision about anything important until you have had time to apply your critical thinking talents to the matter at hand. Let's say someone tells you he has a product, say a line of vitamin and mineral supplements, that will increase your energy, shrink your derriere or grow hair on top of your head. What say you? Following the style of a BS artist, you would be attentive, respectful and kind, and even aloof or seemingly impressed -- but you would not buy or otherwise decide in favor, either. You would instead employ an attitude of bemused skepticism! You would, calmly and sweetly with serene and regal self-assurance, ask for evidence -- from a disinterested third party -- and take your time before deciding one way or the other.

What do you think -- am I on to something here? Or, does practicing bemused skepticism keep you from leaping forward to make a commitment at this stage? Consider, if you will, that an idea need not be perfect. As you might have heard, "the perfect is the enemy of the good" -- guard against the idea that you have to get it all just right before making a few things better than they were before.

With that excellent rationalization, I rest my case for bemused skepticism. For now. Move over, Dr. Phil. I think I need a TV show of my own!

Whether I get it or not, do look on the bright side of life. Cheers.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of humor. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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