don's report archive

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Don Responds to the Questions "How Goes the Campaign?" and "Why Are You Running?"
Tuesday September 24, 2002

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. George Bernard Shaw

The election for mayor of Tampa is not until March 4, 2003 but visitors to SeekWellness.com regularly ask, "How goes the campaign?" Have you ever heard a politician respond to such a question by saying, "Terrible. Nobody has the slightest interest in any of my issues?" No, of course not. If such were the case, would the candidate even know it, given the denial factor? So, let me answer the question: "It's going great! Everything points clearly to a political career!"

How great? Let me count the ways. A campaign account has been opened, a logo selected (see graphic), beautiful monogrammed shirts have been designed and distributed to supporters, a campaign headquarters set up and all manner of functions and stunts arranged. These include but are certainly not limited to:

Debates/forums/picnics.
Jet flyovers and a boys band with at least 76 trombones.
Whistle-stop train platform hoopla.
Photo-ops where babes have volunteered to be kissed (I only promised not to kiss "babies that were not my own.")
Torchlight parades.
Barn burnings, etc.

So, when visitors ask, "How goes the campaign," I say, "Great. I'm going to win in a landslide! It would not surprise me if the other candidates, sensing the inevitable, concede before election day, giving me the job by joyous acclamation." Got to build confidence in the troops. Ike did not say, "I doubt we'll reach the beach, let alone breach the wall," did he?

Why am I running? I'm doing it for many reasons, four of which seem compelling and consistent with what seems a wellness platform:

It's a really cool job, my resume could stand a little buffing and it might be kind of fun to jet off with assorted cronies now and then for R&R with a nearby dictator. Who knows? Maybe I could drum up some business for the city while sweet-talking El Commandante to go into exile or something. (For those visitors not aware of the recent secret, controversial trip made by the current mayor of Tampa to Cuba, be advised that I'm having some fun here at the mayor's expense.)

I like democracy -- and it seems to me that Tampa needs more of it.
I want to promote a fit city that is a lot more fun, free and functional than it is today.
I want to test numerous ideas in the public square. Examples include:
- The promotion of citizen public service sabbaticals as an alternative to professional politicians.
- A greater role for the public interest, as opposed to the special interests who fund most candidates for office.
- A desire to create a transparent/open government focused on personal freedoms.
- A commitment to close the waterfront side of our beautiful Bayshore Boulevard once a month for wellness festivals. The wellness festivals will be sort of a cross between an urban farmer's market, street party, art show and 4th of July celebration conducive to a wide range of activities for miles along the shoreline.
- Massive citizen participation in the formulation of ideas, values and policies to convey to the Congress, the president and to the world in general. You might recall the recent DR on this topic.
- Promotion of full trade with Cuba, and the restoration to Americans of the right to travel wherever they please, at their own risk, of course.
- The adoption in Tampa of Britain's lead regarding the downgrading of marijuana's status as an illegal drug. (By the way, I do not and never have smoked the stuff and have no use for it whatsoever, but I want the police and courts focused on more serious matters.)

I also want to promote science, reason and free inquiry in all areas of human endeavor. It seems to me that the mayor's office is an extraordinary forum to advance such a mission. As mayor, I will encourage and model critical thinking, reasoning and objectivity. Also, I will champion the separation of church and state for the benefit of all religions and citizens who prefer none. As mayor, I will seek on a daily basis to further creativity and human ingenuity by supporting the arts and sciences.

These are just a few of my reasons for running. Basically, I run to test a belief that a city can benefit enormously from having a mayor who functions as a mentor/advocate/coach for personal responsibility and self-management. Now you know how the campaign is going and why I'm running. I promise (ooops, I promised not to make campaign promises!) to keep you up to date on ways in which a mayor can promote a well city that is fit, fun, free and functional.

Among other things, he can encourage people to look on the bright side of life, which I thought I'd mention to you in concluding this update. Stay well.

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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