don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Gift. Something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation. Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, page 517.

One of the greatest weaknesses of our constitutional democracy, in my opinion, is the view held by many political leaders that a large number of voters are utterly stupid. What else could account for the attempt by Republican fund-raisers to peddle a "commemorative photo" taken on 9/11 of the president (in what is described as "a defining moment" of his presidency) in a letter to potential contributors with this message: "Specially commissioned, individually numbered and matted, this limited edition series is yours free for serving as an honorary co-chairman of the 2002 President's Dinner with your gift of $150 or more." How can a GIFT -- and a FREE one at that -- COST $150?

The news of this incident led me to wonder if people can be well if they can't think straight? Probably, but I also suspect that healthy lifestyles would be a lot more common if people had good thinking skills and could see through artifice, trickery, fraud, treachery, madness and scams.

On the latter subject, have you heard about the animal psychic who offers telephone readings with troubled house pets? I'll bet you think I'm making this up! Sorry, but it's true --- this person offers to communicate telepathically with your animal(s!) Thoughtfully, since you might like to be in on or at least briefed about the conversation, she will "communicate any problems, worries, questions, etc. to you by phone" -- for $300 per hour.

I'm not going to disclose the website of this business! Why? Because someone might be reading this essay who is suffering from mental illness to such a degree that he/she might actually patronize the site! That would defeat my purpose. I write to mock this madness and to decry the sorry state of critical thinking in America, not to promote the psychic vet. Similarly, I'm not going to offer the number of the Republican National Headquarters for fear someone might actually send $150 for a "free gift" photo of our president looking so very presidential.

However, if you think I'm making this up about the psychic, you can verify it at Matt Drudge's site, because he provided a link in the course of branding it "The Cruel Site of the Day" in a feature called "The World Wide Web's Bitter Aftertaste." Just so.

There is entertainment value in sites with a bitter aftertaste like the psychic vet's. For instance, note the clever bandwagon effect in the statement that introduces the business: "Due to the overwhelming response for consultations, please have patience in awaiting a call to schedule your appointment. It may be a week or two before you get a call after we have received your information." It might be, but I doubt it -- better have your credit card ready.

How does this work? Does the cat, for example, have to be held next to the phone? Must it listen or meow? If the psychic is communicating telepathically, why does she need an open phone line? Here are a few things I discovered about this amazing "service" in the course of my usual double-blind, cross-over investigation of a horizontal, vertical and dignified nature:

• During the consultation, you and/or the animal can communicate any problems, worries or questions and work on solving behavior problems. If that does not appeal, you can just talk with the animal(s) while the psychic listens.
• In an hour's time, you can work in as many as 3-4 animals. More than that and you will need another appointment (and another $300.)
• Time or distances are not barriers. (Who would have thought so with this entrepreneur?)
• She is also able to communicate with pets that have "passed over" as well as pets still on this earth. I'm guessing that she can have a chat with dead pets, too. Presumably, it's not necessary to bring the remains to the phone to get the full effect of the lady's insights with the dearly departed.

The pet psychic advises customers to be brief in describing the pet's situation, as "she will find out what is going on" soon enough when communicating with the critter(s.)

In addition to vigorous exercise, good nutrition, stress management and the usual disciplined habits that form the basis for healthy living, please don't neglect to develop effective decision-making skills. There is an entire area devoted to this vital element of self-management at the SeekWellness Archives. Have a look at these and similar essays and do take time to hone your abilities for "baloney detection" and bemused skepticism.

By doing so, you will be able to enjoy cynical Republican fund raising letters, information about psychics and other silliness without risking your money or your senses.

Be well, enjoy, have fun and please -- always look on the bright side of life.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of effective decisions. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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