don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

"Poke any saint deeply enough, and you touch self-interest." Irving Wallace

In the course of doing research for my first book, High Level Wellness: An Alternative to Doctors, Drugs and Disease (Rodale, 1977), my ideas about personal responsibility were very much influenced by Harry Browne's classic 1973 work entitled How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World. How I Found Freedom inspired many of the principles that became part of the wellness philosophy.

Not everyone is as fond of Browne's ideas as I was and remain. Among his more controversial notions are these:

• That selfishness is not bad.
• That we are all ultimately selfish.

That we inhibit our chances for freedom, for wellness and for living the kind of life we most desire when we confuse positive versus negative self-interest.

Such beliefs all lead to what Browne terms the "unselfishness trap." Like all traps, this one diminishes your prospects for happiness. Browne urged his readers to understand the nature of such traps in order to avoid them with more effective thinking designed to maximize the chances for true freedom in a world that isn't free.

You are caught in the unselfishness trap when you believe you must place the happiness of others ahead of your own. This, of course, is not REALLY believed by anyone save monks, perhaps, or those who give up everything to others, even strangers. While few carry the notion to such extremes, many others still have an unconscious sense that they must sacrifice for the pleasure of others, that focusing on one's own needs quickly becomes wrongful self-indulgence. Browne however, believes that everyone is selfish; everyone is doing what be believes will make himself happier. Recognizing this takes the sting out of accusations that you're being selfish. Browne urged readers to live freely by rejecting the unselfishness trap because it obstructs your freedom and will keep you from living life the way you want to live it.

The unselfishness trap has promoted guilt and unhappiness throughout history. Its roots are in myth, religion and popular culture. It is self-defeating for, no matter which priorities we adopt, we act in ways that will make us feel good, though doing so might involve risk, deprivation and other unpleasant consequences. At the root of all choices are two options: minimizing adverse consequences or maximizing positive, life-enhancing prospects. The unselfishness trap drives you toward the former; by contrast, a conscious choice of a wellness lifestyle will favor the latter.

We are all alike in one respect -- we seek to have our needs met. Saints and sinners, heroes and cowards and the vast majority in-between do what we think is best for us. If you are caught in the unselfishness trap, this means frequently doing what seems best FOR OTHERS! This dynamic explains the motives of saints in the past and suicide bombers (martyrs) today. For instance, Mother Theresa, who devoted herself to the poor, did so because this made her feel good -- she was, in her mind, doing God's work and therefore setting herself up for big rewards (pleasures) in the next "life." At first, it seems selfless, but viewed from Browne's perspective, it is instead a self-interested choice designed to maximize happiness. As Browne put it: "If someone finds happiness by doing "good works" for others, let him. That doesn't mean that's the best way for you to find happiness. And when someone accuses you of being selfish, just remember that he's upset only because you aren't doing what he selfishly wants you to do."

Tomorrow I'll review Browne's ideas about who falls into this trap most often, comments on our motivations, the consequences of the unselfishness trap, more examples and, of course, advice for overcoming such difficulties. For now, please look on the bright side of life and be well.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of emotional intelligence. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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