don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

"I have often thought that morality may perhaps consist solely in the courage of making a choice." Leon Blum

You make many choices throughout the day, everyday. Most choices, including a few that determine the quality of your lifestyle and thus how much health and happiness you enjoy, do not require any courage! Most choices are not even made consciously or deliberately. They occur automatically, without reflection or deliberation, because you have learned to function efficiently without having to think everything through. Norms, traditions, customs and generally accepted ways of thinking about one thing or another, such as how to dress, react to varied situations and function with different people at varied times are followed because you grew up observing and being reinforced with certain ways of thinking and acting. As an adult, such patterns are taken for granted. For the most part, this is good. By not having to question everything, you can get a lot more done and focus on the few matters that DO require analysis and original thinking.

Sometimes, however, norms, customs and traditional ways need to be consciously reassessed because they no longer serve you very well. As you go through varied life stages, some of these changes seem effortless and natural enough. Sometimes, though, it takes a crisis to realize that norms or ways of functioning that worked well or at least were tolerated are no longer functional or wise. Changes are in order because a norm, custom, tradition or way of thinking about one thing or another is getting in the way of your goals or best interests in some fashion. At such times, it is easy to understand what Leon Blum was thinking when he wrote that "morality may perhaps consist solely in the courage of making a choice."

I thought about this the other day when I read about old people being told that they should adjust to the fact that they feel pain, that misery is an inevitable part of growing old. No it isn't, just as much of what passes for normal is neither sensible, healthy or unchangeable. Most people in America (61 percent) are overweight -- but that is not normal or sensible, healthy or unchangeable, either! I could construct a long list of norms that many people take for granted that should be challenged (that daily vigorous exercise is more trouble than it's worth, for example.) However, I suspect you agree with this statement and can think of more than a few norms that should not be considered normal and should be changed.

Did you know that nearly half of all Americans over age 65 live with long-term pain for which they are not receiving treatment or relief? I was amazed to read this statistic, which was asserted by the American Geriatrics Society (AGS.) The AGS represents over 6000 doctors and other health-care workers who specialize in the care of the aged. In a report on pain management, the AGS claims that many medical experts (presumably not members of AGS) have convinced elderly patients that a variety of aches and pains go with the 65 and over territory that the norm is "You get old, you suffer -- deal with it!" The AGS claims this is all wrong, and urges reforms based on a number of recommendations. Among their calls are the following:

• Stop giving placebos for pain treatment. This is often done on the assumption that pain complaints are imaginary and that older people simply whine too much. Surely some do, as is the case with some young people, but many elders have pains that could be alleviated by REAL pain medications.
• Debilitating pain in the elderly is more often than not under-treated. More could be done to alleviate suffering.
• Older patients can be challenged to do more for themselves. The aged are not so hopelessly set in their ways that they will not better educate themselves. They can be guided to adopt improved coping strategies and they can be motivated to exercise more.

In an article in the Wall Street Journal on May 9, 2002 ("Geriatrics Group Is Set to Release New Outline for Pain Management" by Kelly Greene), an AGS doctor involved in the new guidelines remarked, "I can't tell you how many patients have come in to me, and after we take care of their pain, they say, 'The other doctor I saw said that's just what happens when you get old.'"

Well, having to endure all pains experienced may not be what happens to you when you get old. Similarly, you need not be a couch potato before or after you get old, you need not smoke or gain weight or be bored or stressed or stuck in dysfunctional situations and so on. You need not, in other words, endure situations that interfere with your ability to live your life the way you want to live it, just because others do or think it's "normal."

However, as Leon Blum noted, you need courage to make different choices from those that you grew up with or otherwise bought into. Choose to make wellness lifestyle choices that not only deal effectively with pain, but enable you to enjoy life and be well, and to always look on the bright side. Make this choice even if doing so requires a pause to think consciously about once acceptable norms that may not work so well anymore. When you do that, you will be in a position to make necessary reforms that enable you to be your best.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of emotional intelligence. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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