don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

I read an advertisement today for "Whole Natural Blue Diamond Almonds." The ad featured a photograph of a professional triathlete named Brent Imonen emerging from a body of water all pumped up alongside a description of his "health regimen." Here is what the ad says about Mr. Imonen's training program: "Swims 8 hours per week, runs 50 miles per week, bikes 350 miles per week, eats a balanced diet...and enjoys a can a week." The latter, of course, refers to a can of "Whole Natural Blue Diamond Almonds." The ad asks: "Have you had your can a week?" It did not suggest that if you eat a can of nuts each week, you might want to exercise a lot, if not quite at the level of Mr. Imonen.

Many people need help to learn about, to initiate and especially to sustain a wellness lifestyle long enough for this positive set of attitudes and practices to do any good. They need help not just in critical thinking, as would be helpful for assessing the logic in the ad I just mentioned. In addition, most people need assistance in all three domains of wellness or self-management, and most of the 14 skill areas described in the Index where all these essays are catalogued for your enjoyment. In fact, as Dr. Judd Allen, president of the Human Resources Institute and the leader in the still small specialty area of wellness known as "mentoring" often observes, we who ARE living lifestyles do so BECAUSE we already benefited from such mentoring ourselves. It probably was not called mentoring or deliberately designed as such, but we nevertheless were "mentored" by parents, friends, colleagues and others along the way as we grew and evolved.

Mentoring is the art of helping others achieve their wellness lifestyle goals. Mentoring is something that Dr. Allen and other wellness leaders facilitate in companies, universities and other settings with books, videos, workshops and other educational processes. The skills needed to mentor others in experimenting with and integrating healthful lifestyle practices can be nurtured along in mutually agreeable and satisfying ways. Mentoring is a learned skill that is expressly designed to help others. While the focus often is on health, the process usually helps people realize other goals while bringing out the best in each other. For most people, mentoring beats joining the Army, at least for purposes of "being all that you can be."

There are many benefits for those who engage in the process of mentoring, both for the mentors and those we mentor. (I hesitate to call the latter "mentees"-- it sounds too much like "manatees.") Many try to live healthier lifestyles in our society but few succeed, particularly when success is seen as maintaining desired practices and routines for more than a few days or a weekend. The key to success is support, and support is what mentoring is all about.

Effective mentoring requires more than cheerleading, common sense admonitions and good will. These features all have their place, but they are frosting, not the cake. The key, as noted, is skilled, systematic support. One of the most important elements of mentoring is imparting wellness-related skills that go beyond nagging and listening. Dr. Allen suggests that mentors learn how to help set goals, eliminate barriers, identify role models, locate supportive environments, work through relapse and celebrate success.

In explaining the mentoring process to students, Dr. Allen describes mentoring as promoting a more positive degree of social interaction. He believes there is a lot of isolation in the world, and the crowded campuses of America are as lonely for some as any other environment, despite all the sports, parties, clubs, events and yes, even classes! Mentoring is an antidote to "Bowling Alone." (This is a reference to Robert D. Putnam's best-seller entitled Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, which detailed the extent of isolation in varied communities.)

Mentoring is designed to facilitate fulfilling social relationships and help individuals design more supportive social environments for themselves and others. Sometimes, mentoring begins with simple questions that draw people out and reveal qualities about their lives that the mentor can use to encourage, support and guide.

In summary, the benefits of mentoring include improved well-being and more supportive cultures that, in turn, facilitate self-management, excellence, satisfaction and better life quality.

I asked Dr. Allen to list his favorite wellness-related questions to facilitate the mentoring process. I'll tell you what he told me -- tomorrow. At this point, I'm out of room and besides, you have probably been sitting long enough. It is said that the mind can only absorb while the butt can endure.

Be well, take care and look on the bright side.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MEANING DOMAIN under the skill area of relationships. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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