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by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.
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Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

A Chance Encounter with Michael Jackson

Saturday December 15, 2001

Ever wondered what you would say to a famous person, if the opportunity presented itself? How would you handle, for example, a chance encounter with your favorite novelist, politician, scientist, musician, actor or wellness personality? (Just kidding about the actor part.) Occasionally, I wondered what might be the most apt remarks to make or questions to ask if, for example, I ran into Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., one of my favorite novelists a while back. (I had some witty remarks prepared about Kilgore Trout.) During the early 70's, I unrealistically hoped that I might just "bump into" Tricky Dick, but that possibility was so remote I did not have anything prepared. Nor did I ever prepare any remarks in the event I had an encounter with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mary Lou Retton, Bruce Jenner, Stephen J. Gould, Ken Cooper, Hakeem Olajuwon, Mark Spitz or Wilt Chamberlain, all of whom I DID get to meet over the years.

In any event, I am prepared now for chance encounters with anybody! Why? Because I have created a set of questions that will work nicely with just about anybody! My questions are as follows:

What have you decided about the meaning of life?
How do you get your DBRU equivalents?
What could be done to make life better/healthier/happier for more people?
Would you like to invest a million dollars in my brilliant career?

I'm kidding about one of these questions. Since there is little connection between being famous and being smart, or pensive, insightful, wise or innovative, the third question won't elicit much during most celebrity encounters. Some famous people, particularly politicians and actors, are bloody idiots!

In any event, another reason I've been thinking about this kind of thing is that my dear friends in Australia, the Donovans of Perth, recently reported an encounter with a big celebrity, namely, Michael Jackson. In case you, a high-brow wellness savant, have not heard of Michael Jackson, I'll provide a very brief synopsis of what he is famous for. He sings and dances.

You want more? OK, he's the guy Bob Geldof (in 1996 while presenting him with the "Artist of the Generation" award) said, "is probably the most famous man on the planet - God help him." Geldof also described Jackson as "the only person in the world who has consistently released commercially successful, quality music in every country on every continent for 30 years. His albums, all largely self-penned, have proved capable of reviving flagging music markets. His live performances create scenes of pandemonium that simply have no parallel." So, no doubt about it, an encounter with Michael Jackson is hot stuff.

Therefore, when my friend Jane McNamara, wife of Grant Donovan and mother of two sweet little Donovans (Trent and Amy) spotted Michael Jackson jogging on a beach near Perth, Australia, she seized the day. One thing led to another and Jane came away with an exclusive interview with the eccentric celebrity. Jane obtained insights about Michael's appearance, state of normalcy, thoughts on the wellness concept, familiarity with great books, wellness-related plans and so on.

Faced with the prospect of earning an embarrassment of riches by selling this story to a tabloid, Jane nobly decided instead to give me the exclusive. Thus, it appears here as a "Don's Report" rather than as a headline front cover tale in some supermarket tabloid. Thus, here and now without further ado, I present Jane's account of her interview with Michael. Some personal asides have been snipped to protect Michael's reputation. Jane's reputation is already in tatters, having married Grant.

Don -- He was quite pleasant, actually, and he seemed more normal than you or my husband. He said he likes the wellness concept, reads 14 Days To Wellness time after time and hopes to speak (but not dance) at the National Wellness Conference in Stevens Point, WI., provided they cut back a bit on the touchy-feely stuff. He introduced his new bride "Debbie" and invited Grant and me to visit his estate and ride his carousel when next in America. Not much else to report. Hope you are well. Cheers. Jane McNamara, Perth, Australia

Let this be a lesson: Be prepared. You never know when you might meet a famous person. What will you say, for example, if by pure chance YOU encounter some hugely famous or infamous celebrity, like Elvis? I hope you will have a few wellness-related questions at the ready -- and also that you will share the results of your encounter with all the nice people who read these daily Don's Reports!

Be well. Look on the bright side of life.

Domain: physical
Subdomain: lifestyle habits

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