don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

I was one of the 830,000 plus people who passed through Titanic: The Exhibition during its recent six-month run at the Florida International Museum in St. Petersburg, FL. It was an unforgettable experience. The exhibit was artfully staged in a manner that told a familiar story in a moving fashion. Images of the time were projected by slides with music, special lighting, decorative effects, background sounds and artifacts from the wreck site.

Like the others, I did some serious mental time-tripping while vicariously absorbing the experience of that fateful voyage. Most striking for me was viewing at arms length such memorabilia as china recovered from the sea floor, glass bottles, photos, jewelry, wash basins, a pen, a lamp, slippers and eyeglasses. A bracelet, the name "Amy" spelled out in gemstones and never claimed, seemed to stand out. The mind floods with curiosities. Was Amy one of the 1,523 of the 2,228 passengers and crew who perished, or did she make it and, if so, what became of her?

The most gripping moment for me was standing on the recreated wooden deck, with portals, benches and rails. It’s late evening on the night of the sinking and the sky is painted just as it was that evening, filled with the exact same stars the passengers would have seen. You can see the looming iceberg, shown in high relief. I felt a lump in my throat, much like the time a year earlier in Dallas, standing at the exact spot where the assassin was perched on The Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza.

Soon after my visit to the Titanic exhibit, I came upon an article based on a survey conducted by a Pennsylvania newspaper on the occasion of the 80th anniversary of the ship’s sinking. The survey showed that contemporary males would in no way behave as gallantly, as chivalrously as did the “real” men of 1916. Naturally, this survey provided a rich treasure of material for columnists and talk show hosts -- and added new spice to the always-contentious modern issue of male-female rights and privileges.

However, the issue of whether men SHOULD defer to women in the case of limited lifeboats was not definitively addressed. Let’s assume for the moment that the infants and kiddies would still get a break but, even there, questions arise. Would we give our lifeboat seat to a punk rocker? A kid with a ghetto blaster? Where would the lines be drawn?

Before answering this topical “Titanic” question with a culturally programmed response, try a little exercise. Try reversing the question. Ask if women should defer to men? Then ask about other possibilities, such as:

• Should whites defer to blacks (sort of a reparations thing)? Or, vice versa (to atone for affirmative action)?
• Should married heterosexuals go ahead of gays? Or vice-versa?
• Should Islamics go before Catholics, Jews before Protestants, poor before or after rich?
• Should the able-bodied give way to the handicapped? If so, which handicapped or how “challenged” must someone be to qualify for the head of the lifeboat line?
• Should nurses step-aside for doctors, or vice-versa?
• Should smokers go last? Or first? Play this game for two minutes and you realize that there is no rule or norm in place for contemporary Titanic situations and, interestingly, there is little consensus that there should be!

Of course, you also realize how important it is that there be enough lifeboats, or there will be hell to pay on the decks of the next Titanic. My, how times have changed. In 1916, the key distinctions in terms of whose lives must first be protected were clear: Women and children were to be saved, by the men.

OK, so maybe the chances are not so great that you will be in the North Atlantic on a sinking cruise ship with too few lifeboats listening to the band play “Nearer My God To Thee,” looking around and wondering “OK, let’s see now, who gets to go first around here?" Some will still invite the women to go first, no doubt, and to take the babies with them. Family surely would come to the forefront, for if there were one category of human most likely to qualify for an uncontested seat even on the contemporary lifeboat, it would be one’s own children.

But, then who? Will anyone care who is white/black/Hispanic or something else? Do you think favors will be sought by the Islamics/Catholics, poor or rich, handicapped and so on? Do these things matter? Should they matter? Why?

I rather doubt that many people on the listing deck would give a hoot for these distinctions among people -- with the possible exceptions of infants and very small babies. Teens? Forget about it -— queue up, brother and sister, and hope for the best.

All self-managers interested in optimal function must be curious about their own values. Who would not wonder, standing on the deck of the model Titanic at this powerful exhibit, how he or she would respond in a tight situation. What emphasis would you give to chivalry, loyalty, morality and the like for insight into how you would deal with or react in a life-threatening situation?

Just whom do you look out for, not just in hypothetical life or death sacrifices but in your day-to-day actions that affect the quality of life of those around you?

The answers here are actually not all that different from those that faced John Jacob Astor (he declined a rowboat seat), Bruce Ismay (he took one), Amy (who lost her bracelet, and probably her life) and the others on that fateful night in 1912.

Whatever your opinion of traditional chivalry, modern feminism or women’s rights in an egalitarian society and whatever your sex or sexual preference, chances are that the only kind of ethics that will guide your actions in a Titanic situation are ”situational” in nature.

Who else should be entitled to special treatment? Anyone? Of course, but the key to their identity will likely be “it depends.” Since “depends on what” varies so much in our extraordinarily diverse society, don’t expect a lot of consensus. Try, however, to agree with the man or woman you have to face each morning in the mirror. Situational ethics may not be a favored topic for contemporary preachers but, if you don’t know what you believe and what’s worth dying for, if anything, what else can you rely upon in times that invite great courage, if not sacrifice?

“Know thyself” is easier repeated than achieved. A few minutes on the deck of the Titanic, even a model of the original, is a sobering experience. It makes one think about a lot of things, not least of all the meaning of life, the nature of heroism, bravery, love and even one’s own commitment to rationality, convention and situational ethics.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of effective decisions. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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