don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

A visitor to SeekWellness.com recently asked, "Don -- What's your take on competition? How do you deal with the downside, which includes all the fear and anxieties common to competition, such as fear of making mistakes, fear of not being good enough, fear of losing, fear of getting hurt and so on? Winning is great, but there's not much room at the top. Does competition really fit with a self-managing lifestyle? Finally, if I have more of something (trophies, medals and ribbons, for examples), does someone else have to endure less? To do well enough in class, or make the team, I had to `beat' out others. Is this healthy?"

These are illustrative of the kinds of competition issues with which most of us have had to deal. We are all shaped by our experiences with competitions of varied kinds, most of which we did not choose to enter--they were thrust upon us! Think of the early years of school, and competitions for grades, honors and so on. Our attitudes toward competition are affected by our personality, values and peers. It should not surprise us that others react to competition very differently from the way we think and deal with it.

The first step in responding to the questions posed by the visitor was to define terms, specifically competition. Otherwise, I might have gone on about something quite different from the topic at hand, as Gilda Radner used to do as the commentator on "Saturday Night Live" who would misunderstand a word and launch into an irrelevant (but hilarious) rant.

My idea of competition is one of many provided by Webster (9th), namely, "active demand by two or more organisms for some environmental resource in short supply." It could be a yellow jersey, an oval office in Washington, the vote of a Congressperson, finding an affordable home in a desirable area -- whatever. For me, competitions most often take the form of athletic/avocational pursuits, as in weekend age group rivalries (as you can observe elsewhere at this site in the score board section). If the question were, "Is competition a good thing, for me," the answer would be easy, namely, "Yes, very much so."

The reason competition is such a positive experience for me is that I try and usually succeed in making competitive events a "no lose" proposition. More important, with a little bit of mental rehearsal and physical practice, you can do the same. Consider this approach I take to competition.

If I win, I win. Naturally. If not, I "win" anyway, but in different ways. It's all how you choose to think of it. My thinking guarantees a "winning" experience of one kind or another. The trick to enjoying competition is to have more than one way to win. For instance, if I am not the first across the line, which was the case in two races so far this year, I make a point not to mope or get down and out about it. Nobody can win all the time. More often than not, Lance Armstrong finishes in the middle of the peloton (the pack of riders), and Tiger Woods does not win every tournament, either.

There are other gains to be had from participating in the game, such as the thrill of the race, the camaraderie and the excitement of it all. I focus on the fact that I have worked hard (athletes always push beyond the pale in a race in a manner not possible in training) and thus gain added fitness. If I have done my best, and I almost always give nothing less, there is no basis for despair or disappointment at not being first. This is surely a form of winning. Further, if not first, I am stoked to do better next time.

An inspirational film about fitness and competition is "Coping With Life on the Run," narrated by the late running guru and medical doctor, George Sheehan. The film depicts runners of all ages and physical abilities excelling in competitions in their own fashion, and getting emotionally high on a feeling of having performed in outstanding ways. One scene shows a man in a wheelchair coming through the finish line, doing wheelies. Another participant in the run is on a bridge during the race, alone, because the rest of the competitors have long since crossed the finish line. As he nears the camera, it is apparent that he is running with one leg and a prosthetic limb. To this athlete, the competition has great meaning. His goal is to finish, which he does to triumphant exhilaration. Most of the other competitors, particularly in the middle and back of the pack, seem to experience similar thrills and connectedness. While they don't win in a formal way, they win in terms of personal goals and individual pleasures. This is exemplary of what competition offers, at its best. It motivates people to excel. It promotes self-esteem!

I could go on about the benefits of competition but I think you get the idea. The fears associated with competition, the bad feelings that it creates for some, are more related to the way they respond to it before, during and/or especially after the fact. With a constructive perspective, you could even show up late minutes after the start of world championship race in a foreign country, finish fourth and still not be hopelessly frustrated! Oh, you might be bummed for a while but you would get over it soon enough, knowing that there will always be another race coming up before you know it. (Personal note: This happened to me in Cancun, Mexico in 1995 at the World Duathlon Championship.)

Competition is not always a good thing for everyone. Some should avoid it, or reform their attitudes about it. It is best if not viewed as a zero sum game with winners and losers. A self-managing, alternative perspective might be to see participation in events as a way to be part of something special, a stage worthy of your time and a venue for your talent. Make winning inevitable by the way you choose to view the competitive process. Make it a game broad enough to enable you to win your division. When people ask what division I'm in, I say, "The master male category for people over six feet three inches and 180 pounds who are right-handed with blue eyes, host a wellness website, live in Tampa and have a strange sense of humor." If you get yourself in the right division, you can win, too -- and then you will LOVE competition. As Ashleigh Brilliant observed, "To be the best, be the only one in your group."

Sheehan wrote that the purist form of competition comes from attempting to be the best YOU you can be. Competition is the road to excellence...Each one of us must be a hero. We are here to lead a heroic life...the heroic act, the courageous act, is its own reward." (Personal Best, Rodale, Emmaus, PA., 1989, pp. 7 and 8.)

All the best. Be well

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of mental health. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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