don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

In lectures in all parts of the country, I often put a series of questions to audiences concerning freedom of speech and their views about this aspect of democracy. Usually, the questions go like this:

“How many of you are in favor of allowing freedom of speech?” Except for those who have already gone to sleep, all hands go up. Then I ask, “How many of you are in favor of allowing speech that insults your religion, your favorite politician, the flag (any flag) or Elvis?” In every instance, the number of raised hands signaling agreement with this interpretation of freedom of speech decreases by half, sometimes more.

The conclusion is obvious if a bit uncomfortable: Many of us are all in favor of free expression, provided the opinions expressed agree with our own.

I won’t go into the nuances of constitutional law, in part because it’s boring, in part because I’m not qualified but mainly because it’s not the point I want to address in this essay. Instead, I’d like to go on a rant about gutless disclaimers from pusillanimous writers terrorized into pitiful cowardice by bottom-dwelling lawyers urging the fainthearted amongst us to sue each other for a quick buck, and note the disquieting affect this has upon freedom of speech.

Unlike the rest, however, I shall buck the trend. Are you ready for this? Essays in this and all “Don’s Reports” stand on their own and I make no apologies for any of them, except to note that all opinions expressed in these columns are really not mine or anyone else’s at this company, including my friends and my dog and don’t quote me on that or anything else. All rights are reserved; these insights are copyrighted and you can’t profit from them or include any of my stuff in commercial publications without written permission from the president of the United States. Other copyright laws for specific one-liners apply wherever noted. Articles are subject to change without notice and some have been slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Hand wash any printed copies of these essays and tumble dry on low heat and don’t bend, fold, mutilate or spindle the thing. Your mileage may vary and be advised that no substitutions are allowed.

For a limited time only (until the Year 3000), you can have a one-year subscription to the Ardell Wellness Report for only $25 but you must act quickly and, needless to say (but I will just to be safe), this offer is void where prohibited, taxed or otherwise restricted. Advice is provided “as is” (as opposed to how it should be) without any warranties expressed or implied--user assumes full liabilities for the consequences of taking my advice. I’m definitely not liable for damages due to use or misuse of my recommendations. I am an equal opportunity wisdom-giver. Naturally, if you attempt to read this DR wearing no shoes or shirt, well, then I can't offer a service or other advice on how to live your life.

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Remember, I’m open to all arguments in support of my opinions. If something I wrote offends you, please consider taking both of us less seriously and move on to more consequential matters. One more thing: All opinions expressed in these essays concerning personal responsibility and that sort of thing are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the official view of the SeekWellness Editorial Board, the National Wellness Institute, my children Jeanne and Jon or former president Bill Clinton.

However, I prefer to think that now, if not before, a few of these opinions are yours, too.

Be well, enjoy and look on the bright side of life.

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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