don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

I read about an amazing cosmic event a while back and wondered to myself, “What will it take to bring people to their senses? What sudden event or communication might spur people all over the globe to realize that it is really and truly dumb to allow their bodies to grow flabby from inactivity, or to permit their vessels and arteries to clog and obstruct due to dietary indiscretions, thereby inhibiting blood flow to sex organs and lesser parts of the body, like the heart? In short, what one situation could present itself that would suddenly and unexpectedly jolt Earth's six billion inhabitants to an instant conversion to wellness?”

I sometimes have very strange thoughts.

In fact, I don’t think that there is or ever will be anything that could spark such a cataclysmic collective wellness insight to all humanoids in one fell swoop! if there were such an event in our lifestyle that could be of such a rapturous and epic circumstance so as to show, without a scintilla of doubt or uncertainty, the wisdom of that which has been promoted in these varied and extensive “Don’s Reports,” well, I have an idea about what it might look like. Can you guess what I have in mind?

I think it would have to be some kind of message from a mirror or parallel universe just like our own! That’s right — a great transformation of lifestyles toward wellness might require an unmistakable message from a planet where every extraterrestrial or ET is a savant, hierophant or lifestyle artist at artful self-management.They would be aliens whom we could adopt as role models!

Don't laugh — today’s science fiction is sometimes the stuff of tomorrow's newspaper headlines! Have you heard of SETI — the search for extraterrestrial intelligence? It’s the search for electromagnetic signals from other civilizations in the universe. It was inaugurated by NASA in the early 70’s and has been financed for the past decade with private funds.

Just thinking about the possibilities is rather mind-expanding. Just within range of our telescopes, there are 100 billion GALAXIES! Do you have any idea how many planets this many galaxies could harbor? Consider that each galaxy is home to 100 billion STARS! This means that if only ONE in a billion planets harbors life, there would be 10,000 billion planets with some kind of critters practicing lifestyles along the worseness/wellness continuum! Surely one of them is at the far right side of the wellness continuum, and willing to tell us about it, now that we're finally listening!

Of course, there will be complications. Even if my imaginary wellness-oriented planet, which I hereby name “SeekWellness10+” is part of the solar system of the star NEAREST to Earth, then our wellness-oriented friends are located a not-so-neighborly distance away from us. Therefore, the signal they send bearing their startling wellness wake-up call will take four years to get here, even though it will be traveling at the speed of light, or a blazing 186,000 miles per second.

If, however, “SeekWellness10+” is a bit farther out than that, a signal from them could take many thousands or millions of years! As far as a signal EXCHANGE is concerned, well, you can forget that. While exchanging wellness insights at such distances in such times may be no problem for them, since life forms so skilled at wellness as the inhabitants of “SeekWellness10+” could easily live millions of years, the delay presents serious drawbacks for us! When the signal arrives, therefore, the best we can hope for is to enjoy the monologue; a dialogue seems out of the question.

What might be the nature of a message from “SeekWellness10+”? There are so many forms it could take, I'll explore just a few. How about, "Hey, lowlifes, repent! Immediately! Do it now!" No, this would be out of character for a wellness-oriented alien, on Earth and certainly on “SeekWellness10+.” Furthermore, a message like that might be misinterpreted by ecclesiastically predisposed ET's here on Earth. (Remember, to them, WE'RE the ET's.) How about, "Read and adhere to every word in the Don’s Reports to the World!"? Or, "Make Donald B. Ardell your czar!"? Or, "Wellness is fun, romantic and hip, sexy and free!"?

Since some of the signals from radio programs of the '30s and '40s are just now reaching the nearer stars, maybe they will demand better programs. Yikes, wait till they hear some of the ads from recent election campaigns in this country. Anyway, I can't even guess what the wellness message might be but I'm sure it will be mighty persuasive.

One commentator raised a poignant possibility right from the personal columns: Lonely, technically-proficient species seeks same. Object: Communication."

The downside of SETI is that we might betray our presence to a powerful, potentially hostile civilization that would choose to enslave us, or give us their diseases or, worse yet, their religions or UNHEALTHY lifestyles? Military history does not suggest that the technologically inferior customarily benefit from contact with the technologically advanced. It's one thing to listen for the wellness message of salvation; however, do we really want to transmit a plea for assistance until we get the correct address for “SeekWellness10+?”

Well, maybe we should not pin our hopes on rescue from without but instead look within, both within ourselves as individuals and within our own planet, for saner, healthier and more fulfilling ways to enjoy our days while enhancing our well-being.

Be well, Earthlings. Let's help each other in the event the good folks on “SeekWellness10+” don't get the word to us in time for us to benefit from it. Maybe that’s the best way to look on the bright side and be responsible. Cheers.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of factual knowledge. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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