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Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)
An Alternative to Denial—Positive Affirmal!
Has everything worth knowing been discovered? Have we come to the end of wellness -- at least insofar as new advances are concerned --or are there great horizons yet unglimpsed waiting for someone like you, or me, to reveal? While it is true that some things can never be known, such as the meaning of life or why people send money to televangelists, I hope you do not think for a moment that the possibilities for self-management breakthroughs have been exhausted. After all, there are 30,000 new Ph.D.'s every year, so the supply of ceaseless wonders has to inexhaustible. Thus, to answer my own rhetorical question, Yes, there are breakthroughs still to come, in fact, I'm about to describe one!
For years I was "hot on the trail" of a pretty exciting notion in the way of a wellness "Eureka!" No, I was not seeking to know how in the heck the brain stores memories, that is, how knowledge is represented in the human mind nor was I trying to work out a solid state theory explaining superconductivity that allows electricity to flow unimpeded at relatively warm temperatures -- a form of electronic perpetual motion. What, then? You're probably thinking, I know, Don was seeking a way to detect and thus enable commercial and other aircraft to avoid clear-air turbulence! No, that's not it. Was I looking for the missing matter in the universe (physicists have calculated that the total mass in the cosmos is 10 times what we've been able to observe) or an answer to the puzzle whether life might have evolved elsewhere in the universe? No, I have not spent any time on these matters either.
Shall I just come out and tell you of my breakthrough? Do you give up?
It has to do with taking a new look at a negative phenomenon, namely, the powerful but poorly regarded process known as denial!
Surely you have heard this famous line from Sir Walter Scott: Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. Well, this ain't about no tangled web nor am I practicing to deceive, so forget this great line by Walter.
My breakthrough discovery is this: Under some circumstances, denial can be an effective strategy for dealing with stress and other challenges.
You seldom hear a good word for denial, a term meaning self-delusion, for the very good reason that it is usually manifested in persons a bit out of contact with reality.
Could it actually be a good thing if it were artfully and consciously applied by the self-manager well aware of what he/she is doing? That's the question I asked myself that led to my mental breakthrough. (That's mental breakthrough, mind you, not mental breakdown.) Once alert to this possibility, the flash of discovery soon followed.
Around this time, a good friend and very serious athlete of 60+ years advised that his oxygen uptake had been tested, but he was sorely disappointed with the result. He concluded that the relatively low score indicated that age was overtaking his best efforts to stay young. I shot back a demurrer, insisting that the results were misinterpreted, that the test taker was biased, that the instruments malfunctioned and/or that the very concept of such a test was flawed! He immediately felt better, recognizing the scientific validity of my instincts. I told my colleague in Australia, Grant Donovan, about this and he replied, as follows: Thanks for the interesting medical report about our mutual friend, and your explanation of the situation. I'm happy to see you're now doing denials for other people. It might be time to set it up as a business. Some people do readings, Shirley does connections and Don does denials. I bet there's big money to be made denying other people are old, overweight, having affairs, committing mayhem and so on. I think you should create a Denials Center at SeekWellness.com.
Well, by that time I knew I was really getting close to the breakthrough. All I needed was a word for the kind of denial I would promote--and a little bit of plausible evidence (even slightly plausible evidence.)
No sooner did I start thinking along these lines than along comes an expert who thinks self-delusion contributes to marital accord! That's right -- psychologist Benjamin Karney of the University of Florida says people who can use their memories selectively tend to believe that their marriage is better now than in the past.The key is to recall and give credence to the good stuff and consciously learn to forget the not so good. In short, it's healthy to delude ourselves a bit for self-management purposes.
So much for Sir Walter Scott and his disparaging remarks about weaving a tangled web! According to an article in the Miami Herald about the study Karney conducted over a 20-year period, it's good to be able to tell yourself a story you like to believe. Karney added that it's okay not to be accurate about the past if it makes you feel better about the present. Just so, I say. Selective positive memories often make the difference between happiness and misery. This applies to childhood memories, the way you think about your job and profession, how you view your performances as a lover -- the works.
Politicians often seek something they cause plausible denial when seeking to pull a fast one over their constituents. My breakthrough should henceforth be known as positive affirmal. It's much better than simple or plausible denial -- provided of course you know that you are only fooling yourself temporarily while organizing your affairs so as to get back on track for self-management.
So, how do you like my breakthrough discovery? Do you agree that we have not reached the end of wellness insofar as new worlds to conquer?
Tomorrow I'll offer another wellness breakthrough idea entitled bemused skepticism.
Domain: purposeSubdomain: humor
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