don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

According to one academic expert on the topic (Hal Varian of UC Berkeley), the Internet presently consists of 2.5 billion documents, and grows at a rate of 7.3 million pages daily! I'm not sure what this has to do with self-management, consumer empowerment, or wellness, but I'm sure there's some connection. One connection is that it makes me ever so much more appreciative of the fact that, of all those billions and billions of document choices, you picked my little essay to read on this occasion! Thank you very, very much.

Have you ever heard someone say "I'm too busy to exercise," or "I'm too old to change my ways," or "I'm too tired at the end of the day to play with the kids," or something along those lines? It's not uncommon; in fact, I've been heard to utter such remarks myself, on occasions. I try not to do so, however.

In any event, I think a new disease entry should be added to the list of ailments. It would be called "tooitis." Want to take a test to see if you might have it? Here is one I developed and tested during the many years I ran a student wellness center at the University of Central Florida in Orlando. Naturally, it was developed in the course of extensive double-blind, crossover trials of a longitudinal, vertical, and dignified nature.

Good luck -- here's the test.

THE ARDELL TEST FOR TOOITIS.

In the past year, have you ever thought to yourself or expressed to others any of the following:

Add the number of "Yes" checkmarks.

If the total is zero, you don't have TOOITIS but you are a pain in the rear and no fun at all. Lighten up, develop a vice or two. Go eat a Twinkie or something.

If you made only a few "Yes" checks, that's pretty good. Don't strive for perfection -- you can afford a few little pleasures now and then. (By the way, this was my score, which I find a highly scientific way to validate these research instruments.)

If you made five to ten "Yes" checks, well, you are at some risk but don't worry about it -- that never does any good. You might consider tugging on those bootstraps a bit or tightening your belt or something like that.

If you made more than ten "Yes" checks, then I must say you could have symptoms of "Tooitis." Take a remedial wellness program. Read the essays archived under the past several months and think virtuous thoughts.

If you checked "Yes" in every instance, well, you better repent! You have TOOITIS, but you can get rid of it without drugs, doctors or treatment programs. Simply spend more time thinking about ways to practice key principles of self-management. Do that and the condition will pass rapidly.

Good luck. Enjoy and always look on the bright side of life.

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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