don's report archive

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Yesterday I described the pressures on adolescents and suggested that stress management training should be taught in all the schools. There are two kinds of stress management training, and both deserve equal billing. However, there is rarely enough time for either, much to the neglect of adolescent needs. These two areas of stress management are cognitive skills and experiential learning of techniques.

The fact that educators often feel they have to neglect one or the other calls to mind a music director's experience recently noted in the arts section of the Wall Street Journal (1/17/2001). When the director approached the chairman of the orchestra with a hefty budget request in order to do the concert version of Wagner's opera "Tristan and Isolde," the chairman looked at the cost, blanched, and replied, "Why don't we do 'Tristan' this year and 'Isolde' the next?" Many a school educator must have similar thoughts when trying to schedule enough time for cognitive and experiential aspects of stress management.

Just the same, young people need both kinds of training to cope with the extreme pressures attendant upon the adolescent period of life in modern society. Here's a brief review of the cognitive basics of stress management; maybe next season I'll get around to discussing experiential learning techniques!

STRESS IS NEUTRAL

It is the way adolescents (and others) choose to deal with stress that makes all the difference, for better or worse. Before your body goes into action in the face of circumstances that may or may not prove stressful, your brain has to signal your emotions that this life event or "happening" is or is not a big deal. The key factor is not the stress event, as was emphasized before -- it is how you react to the event. With a willingness to take personal responsibility for managing stress, the choice is yours. Adolescents can learn this. Most do not recognize that they have any choice in most stressful circumstances.

STRESS DOES NOT ALWAYS LEAD TO DISASTER

Most adolescents have a very short time horizon: the "right" date for the Junior Prom assumes a great deal more consequence than which career path to follow. Daily erroneous judgments and panic attacks, however foolish the causes may seem to sensible adults, will drain adolescent energies and frazzle nerves, leading to even more irrational behaviors than might otherwise be expected. Learning not to make mountains of proverbial molehills can take a great load off many an adolescent.

IGNORING STRESS IS A BIG MISTAKE

One good thing about stress overload, if it could be said to have anything good about it, is that diagnosing the condition is simple. It does not require either sophisticated or expensive testing at a leading medical center. No CAT scans, axiel tomography, gene splicing, or anything of the kind is required. If you or the youth you love are overly distressed, chances are everyone involved knows it! The first remedial step is a free attitude adjustment, which does not require a chiropractor.

STRESS IS NORMAL

To avoid denial, which sounds redundant, agree to acknowledge to yourself and communicate to adolescents that stress is part of life -- and unavoidable. Expect conflicts, upsets, setbacks, and frustrations on a daily basis -- no big deal. Prepare for challenges by lowering their impact in advance of their occurrence -- you will safeguard your health and enhance your ability to enjoy life.

Enough already. At some point, it is necessary to sit back and let the adolescent make his/her way in the world, free of micro-managing by loving parents and others. We can make conscientious efforts to impart the best example and worldly wisdom, as per the advice in this essay, but we can't effectively solve or even advise on most of the details of someone else's life.

As Garrison Keillor put it, "Selective ignorance is a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze."

Be well. Enjoy and look on the bright side.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the MENTAL DOMAIN under the skill area of stress management. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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