Book: Aging Beyond Belief by Don Ardell

If you plan to age, prepare yourself — it's later than you think. The challenge of aging well should be taken seriously, but not grimly! Whatever your age, it's never too soon, or too late, to learn and apply the fine art of aging well, really well. Discover what aspects of aging can't be changed and improve the rest that can. Mold your own realities with REAL wellness, Ardell-style.

The 69 tips — one for each year of the author's life — are thought-provoking, challenging, eye-opening, manageable and fun to read. And all provide practical guidance for intelligently designing your own life-style evolution.
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by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.
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Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Tips for the Pursuit of Happiness

Monday October 9, 2000

Yesterday I suggested that there are many paths to happiness (besides sex, drugs and rock and roll) but discovering where they are and staying on track are elusive challenges. I also stated my opinion that happiness is not a destination at all, but a way of traveling and that personal renewal and good works are allies in the continuing quest for happiness.

I also promised a few specific tips to help you experience more happiness as part of a healthful, fulfilling existence.

For starters, I suggest you ask yourself, every now and then, "What will it take for me to be happy?" While we devote, of necessity, a good part of our lives to materialism, ultimately acquisitions unrelated to passions rarely fulfill. A booming stock market does not make for continuing happiness, nor does fame, romance or even excellent health status, though these and other factors can contribute if they are not viewed as ends in themselves. So, too, can play, adventure, learning and devotion to causes larger than oneself be positive factors in realizing a good measure of happiness in life.

That said, here are the promised practical tips for achieving (discovering) increased satisfaction (happiness) via a more fulfilling life visited by ample human happiness.

The first is to ask and take note of your responses to a few introspective questions. Allow your feelings and thoughts to guide what you do next:

Does your happiness, more than you would like, depend on some addition to or change in your life?
Is there something you have to have to do, or obtain, in order to experience sufficient happiness?
Must you realize epic accomplishments to be happy or would a few days off suffice for a surge of satisfaction and joy? For example, must you win the lottery or Olympic gold, or is it enough that your child does well in school, your favorite team has a winning season, you lose a few pounds?

I urge you to favor an indirect approach to happiness, not a full frontal assault upon it. Viktor Frankl, Will Durant, Irving Yalom and others addressed happiness in the context of the quest for meaning and purpose, and recommended "engagement" or service to others as the surest path. Support for the idea that meaning and purpose are first cousins of happiness, if transitory like all else, is also found in the works of Hume, Sartre, Camus and many others, all of whom might be considered early wellness promoters!

If you arrange your thinking so that happiness can easily be secured, at least for a while, by everyday pleasures, you will be better off. Thus, seekers of self-management interested in happiness as a health issue might join in a cheer for little pleasantries! It is not the great events and successes, joys and thrills that make for happiness, but the little remembered, everyday delights that nourish a good disposition, most of the time.

Here are additional wellness tips along these lines:

Inventory your joys, pleasures or best moments regularly. Consider strategies for adding a few, even if you have to change a schedule or otherwise go out of the way to make time for lightness and play. Be proactive and independent -- why wait for others to bring about these positive changes in your life?
Attend to the little things. Forget the lottery and the high profile, life-changing "deux ex machina" lightening bolts. You can't count on them -- they are like prayers, miracles and apparitions -- or Oakland, perhaps (in other words, there's no "there" there!). Besides, it's unlikely that such matters would bring happiness even if they did occur -- you might be tempted to wonder if you should have asked for more! Seek inspiration in the familiar. Don't overlook the scenery, sounds, aromas, and multiple blessings you already enjoy. Recall Gilda Radnor's needlepoint message revealed in Gene Wilder's book Funny About Love: "Contentment is not the achieving of what you want but the realization of what you already have."
If there are situations or conditions that can't be changed, change the way you perceive them. Do a mind number on yourself for the sake of your own happiness. Discover something about the situation that you can explore anew and enjoy. A bit more pleasure might be the surest minimal daily nutrient or lifestyle supplement for continued well-being.

Last but not least of uncountable possibilities, make a conscious decision to take care of your body! Physical health is, after all, "a crown on the well man's head visible but to the sick" (Egyptian proverb).

Good luck. Do it your way -- and make the most of every day. Look after yourself and be well and if I left something out (of course I did) and you want to tell me about it, please do so—I'd love to hear from you.

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