an interview with Deb Gauldin

by Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.

Deb Gauldin RN, PMS has been an obstetric nurse and childbirth educator for over 20 years. She is married and the mother of two exceptional children.

Since 1990, Deb has owned and managed her own professional speaking and entertainment business, and is recording a third CD of “Hormone Affirming Music and Humor.” Her music and videos are enjoyed and used in educational settings in England, Israel, Japan, Canada, and Latin America.Since 1996, Deb has written and illustrated a humor column in the Journal of Perinatal Education, and has also been a contributing author to a number of award winning patient teaching guides for Mosby. Her music was used for a recent National Public Radio Program, The Infinite Mind, and she is regular guest on several radio stations in the Midwest. Deb is the incoming president of the National Speakers Association. She is a member of numerous professional associations including the American Association of Therapeutic Humor, but insists her best credentials are her stretch marks and laugh lines.

Don: Deb, our visitors should know at the start of this interview that I am a big fan of your work as a wellness educator who also entertains as well (better, actually) than any show I have ever seen in Las Vegas! I should also mention that I have had the high honor to be a member of the chorus for one or two of your show-stopping songs at the NWC, including last summer when you brought down the house with your rendition of the song, “Sensitive New Age Guys.” How would you describe the importance of humor, music, fun and the like in the work you do and what lessons can the rest of us draw from your experience?

Deb: First of all, thanks for the kind words Don. Visitors should also know that when you contacted me about doing a song as part of your session at the NWC, I responded that I would be happy to join you in a performance as long as I wasn't required to wear fishnets. You kept your word. Little did I know that a series of reprisals would follow and continue to be so much fun!

It may sound like the mantra of a four-year old, but the truth is, if it isn't fun, I don't want to play! This sentiment remains true for most of us regardless of our age or the subject we are discussing. Life should be joy-filled and fun. If not, then what is the point? I know, and research supports, that any time we are mastering a new skill or concept, we are more likely to learn, retain, and actually apply what we have learned, if we are having fun at the same time. If your message isn't reaching your audience, try looking at your face. Put a smile there. It is the shortest distance between two people. Add a bit of music. It is a syrup that soothes our souls. Laugh. It transcends our differences. Do something outrageous. You won't be forgotten nor, more importantly, will your message. You will also be healthier for it!

Don: As a nurse, you see a lot of people who are not only not well but are not even interested, or at least they are not aware of being interested, in a wellness lifestyle. What do you do in your professional role as nurse to assist, cajole, lure, or otherwise interest patients and others in wellness education?

Deb: I think of wellness as a way of life that reaches far beyond the physical, yet my nurses training prepares me to attend to others in this area in particular. I have seen the brightest sloths and the dullest athletes. I have seen pregnant teenagers having eaten nothing but tacos and Twinkies for nine months "pop" out perfectly healthy children. I have seen thirty-something professional overachievers with broccoli and wheat germ still on their breadths labor for hours to deliver a child with special health needs. I do not understand what motivates some but not others. I do not understand what assures a healthy outcome for some and not others. The only thing that I do know is that "guilting" folks into desiring a healthy lifestyle is not a long-term solution. Shaming them is no solution at all. That's why my mission is to acknowledge their resistance and perceived failure, have fun with it, and hopefully inspire them to want to take an action that is best for them. To embrace where they are -- right now -- and help people see their potential from a place of celebration rather than self-loathing.

Don: What is most controversial aspect of your work?

Deb: Believe it or not, the most controversial part of my work has always been that I tell people they are OK the way they are. I have also been known to remind people that they already have the ability to take responsibility for themselves and make healthy decisions. To many, this borders on the radical -- even grounds for dismissal! For example, I once received a directive from administration. It read: To all childbirth educators -- It has come to our attention that someone is telling couples to trust themselves. For purposes of consistency, please convey only the information included in the class curriculum. What if more people trusted themselves to make decisions that were best for them?

I know we agree Don, that our economy thrives on billion dollar industries (and an occasional overpaid administrator) invested in making us all feel inept. We don't need to put forth effort into or take ownership of our health, if instead we can find "Shangri-La" in the latest drug, diet scheme, cult, or blue green bee pollen! (Please note: In a few cases, paradise may result in oily stools that are difficult to control.)

Don: What is your response, as a “big woman” or whatever term is politically correct for being, well, “large,” to the fact that most people erroneously identify wellness as a lifestyle primarily for and about being physically fit? Do you find it more difficult to promote wellness as a big woman, or have you managed to turn your presence into an asset in your work?

Deb: I'm not sure what the PC correct term for being, well, ‘large’ is. As Popeye would say, I am what I am! I am also a lot more than my physical dimensions. I am generous and funny, articulate and compassionate. I am a great mother, wife, daughter, and sister. I swim, hike, write songs, cartoon, manage a professional speaking career and yes, I have been known to bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan! Aren't we "fed up" with the "widely" held belief that wellness is about what we weigh?

I urge people to delight in healthy behaviors at whatever weight they are -- right now. Too many equate wellness with being at a fitness club daily for 5 AM aerobic, kick boxing, spinning classes led by a perky eating disordered nineteen-year old, sporting a color-coordinated, deeply-thonged leotard. My mother told me that if anything crept up there, to pull it out for heaven sakes!

In all seriousness, I think it's an advantage for me to have a large asset. Whoops! I mean that being large myself is usually an asset, in that women and men probably feel I relate to them more and am judging them less. I am not sure that someone who was born with a passion for physical fitness and a set of lean genes could ever relate like a person whose jeans are my size.

Don: What is it about wellness that you value most and/or promote with the greatest vigor? Personally, I suspect we all have needs for different aspects of the multiple skill areas that I promote as part of self-management for lifestyle artistry, so what matters most depends on the individual. What are your ideas in this regard?

Deb: The wellness concept that I value and promote with the greatest passion has to do with self-respect and self-acceptance. Believing that one is deserving of happiness, health, and wellness -- while not rocket surgery -- is enormously difficult for so many people. I present for dozens of men and women each year who have not had their annual exams and preventative screenings done, sometimes put off year after year, simply because they don't want to be humiliated by physicians about their weight. Do you know that a woman can come in for a routine pap smear and opt NOT to get weighed? Most women don't even realize they have a choice. How many risk serious disease because of their dis-ease with being weighed? I am passionate about helping people

see that beauty and strength are not measured by the numbers on a scale or a fitness rating. To date, I have given almost 4,000 men and women size tags to display in their personal clothes closets. Written on each circular, plastic divider are the words, You are beautiful as you are. The directions are simple. Start each day with a sentiment of self-worth and see what wellness goals you accomplish.

Don: How can visitors to SeekWellness learn more about your work?

Deb: For information about my keynote programs, or "Hormone Affirming" CD's, cassettes and videos, visitors can check my website at www.debgauldin.com or call my office at 800-682-2347.

May 2001