The Smileys and Acronyms Dictionary
Visitor Smileys
Acronyms
Wellness Puns
The following list of "smileys and acronyms" is largely from an email message from Lee Levitt. His address has somehow disappeared into cyberspace, and we're taking our chances that he won't mind our posting it here. Please send us new smileys to add to the list (no X-rated please).
Smileys
Like prehistoric cave dwellers, the devotees of electronic bulletin-boards and "e-mail" have struggled to find a new way to express themselves. Wall painting would not work. Words, it seems, are not enough. Inarticulate sounds cannot be displayed on screens.
To make their messages feel more like personal contact, newsgroup participants have hit on using the punctuation marks on an ordinary keyboard to make expressive faces at each other. To read these signs, you have to tilt your head to your left shoulder.
The basic "smiley" is:
:-)
In context, this means "I'm happy to hear from you", or other pleasantry. Sometimes used in place of voice inflection to express a sarcastic or joking statement.
The smiley can also wink, as in "tongue in cheek":
;-)
or be sarcastic:
:->
and even frown:
:-(
This one is indifferent; better than a frown but not as good as happy: :-I
Those are basic smileys. Here are some specialties:
8-)
:-{)
:-Q
@:-)
Meaning, respectively, the writer wears sunglasses, has a moustache, smokes, wears a turban.
The smiley can also indicate subtleties of mood and response:
:-D
:-/
:-e
:-7
:-X
... laughing, skeptical, disappointed, wry, keeping lips sealed.
Many signs (maybe the majority) are simply absurd fun, verging on the unintelligible:
:-F
*:o)
+-:-)
@=
. . . a buck-toothed vampire with one tooth missing, a clown, a cleric, pro-nuclear.
(-: Writer is left handed
%-) has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
:*) drunk
[:] a robot
8-) wearing sunglasses
B:-) wearing sunglasses on head
::-) wears normal glasses
(:-) is Jewish
B-) wears horn-rimmed glasses
:-{) has a mustache
:-{} wears lipstick
{:-) a toupee
}:-( toupee is in an updraft
:-[ is a Vampire
:-E a bucktoothed vampire
:-F a bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-7 made a wry statement
:-* ate something sour
:-)~ drools
:-~) has a cold
:'-( is crying
:'-) so happy, s/he's crying
:-@ Screaming
:-# wears braces
:^) has a broken nose
:v) has a broken nose, but it's the other way
:_) nose is sliding off of his face
::-& tongue tied.
=:-) a hosehead
-:-) a punk rocker
-:-( (real punk rockers don't smile)
:=) has two noses
`:-) shaved off one of his eyebrows this morning
,:-) same thing...other side
|-I asleep
|-O yawning/snoring
:-Q a smoker
:-? smokes a pipe
O-) Megaton Man On Patrol! (or a scuba diver)
O :-) an angel (at heart, at least)
:-P Nyahhhh!
:-S an incoherent statement
:-D laughing (at you!)
:-X lips are sealed
:-C really bummed
:-/ skeptical
C=:-) a chef
@= pro-nuclear war
*:-o Uh oh!
(8-o it's Mr. Bill!
*:o) Bozo the Clown!
3:] pet
3:[ mean pet
d8= pet beaver wearing goggles and a hard hat.
E-:-) a ham radio operator
:-9 licking lips
%-6 brain dead
[:-) wearing a walkman
(:I an egghead
K:P a kid with a propeller beenie
@:-) wearing a turban
:-0 No Yelling! (Quiet Lab)
:-: mutant Smilie
the invisible smilie
.-) has one eye
,-) ditto ... winking
8 :-) a wizard
Mega-Smiley . . . C=}>;*{)) A drunk, devilish chef, with a toupee in an updraft, mustache, and double chin.
Note: A lot of the above can be typed without noses to make midget smileys.
SeekWellness Visitor Smileys
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Acronyms
Here are some chat room acronyms I use...
BRB- Be Right Back
OIC- Oh I see
LOL- Laugh Out Loud
TAH- Take a hint
LMAO - laugh my a-- off
SMS - split my sides
Ok, here are some more chat room and game Acronyms.................
BTDT - Been There Done That
GG - Good Game
C-YA, CYA - See Ya
L8R - Latter
ROFLOL - Rolling On the Floor Laughing
GD - Good Day
MTE - My Thoughts Exactly
BOHICA - Bend Over - Here It Comes Again
(AAA)A3 - Anytime, Anyplace, Anywere
DADT - Dont Ask, Dont Tell
KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid
From a visitor:
The acronym a/s/l/ (age, sex, location) is very widely used
From another visitor: here are some acronyms me and my friends commonly use :
TTYL=talk to you later
WBASAP=write back as soon as possible
BF4E=best friends for ever
LYLAS=love ya like a sis
LUWAMH=Love you with all my heart
G2G=Got to go
Acronym Dictionary
| AE BTW FM FC FWIW FYI FUA IITYWTMWYBMAD IAE |
In Any Event By the way Fine Magic Fingers Crossed For what it's worth For Your Information Frequently Used Acronyms If I Tell You What This Means Will You Buy Me A Drink? In any event I Am Not A Lawyer, also IANA... such as CPA In my opinion In my humble opinion In my considered opinion In other words No Reply Necessary On the other hand Pain in the butt Rolling on floor laughing Real Soon Now [which may be a long time coming] Read the Fine(?) manual Situation Normal: All [bleeped] Up Still in the dark There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch Thanks In Advance (also AtDhVaAnNkCsE) Tongue in cheek Three Letter Acronym (such as this) Your Mileage May Vary |
WELLNESS PUNS
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were destroyed in a fire. Thus we will never know for whom the Tells bowled.
A man rushed into his doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day the biologist's supply of seagulls ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back he spied two lions asleep in the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately he was arrested for violation of the Mann Act, which prohibits transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal purposes.
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed doubts the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these who needs enemas?"
Back in the 1800's, the Tate Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products. Since they already made the cases for pocket watches, they decided to market compasses for pioneers traveling west. It turned out that, although their watches were of the finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, led to the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost."
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the restroom equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
An Indian chief was feeling very sick so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination the medicine man took out a long strip of elk hide and gave it to the Chief instructing him to bite off chew and swallow one inch of leather every day. After a month the medicine man returned to see how the Chief was feeling. The Chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended but the malady lingers on."
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local official who apologized saying, "I must have taken Lief of my off my census."
By the way, I know the guy who wrote nine puns. He entered them and one other in a pun contest. He figured with ten entries he couldn't lose. As they were reading the list of winners he was hoping one of his puns would win, but no pun in ten did.
Last updated: September 2011
